Controlling Stepmother

[deleted account] ( 7 moms have responded )

Before my ex remarried, we had a wonderful co-parenting relationship for four years. We never had to follow the standard custody possession order as we managed to work out a schedule that was in the best interest of the kids. He moved into my neighborhood and he rarely took advantage of all the time he was entitled to. He was always bringing them back early during his weekend visitation and committed countless "parenting fails"-forgetting to pick them up, being a no-show for field trips he had volunteered for, being sporadic with child support payments, quitting his job and losing their health insurance....
now that this new woman is in the picture, she's taken the reigns and insists on following the divorce decree to the tee. He has the kids under her care while he's at work when they could/should be with their own mother. The kids are confused by, and not happy with, this new schedule and often complain "again!? we were just there last weekend!!"
Do I have any recourse in the courts to argue that this situation has changed simply because of this new intruder and that he has no right to enforce this decree after being a basically, dead-beat dad for four years?

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Dove - posted on 01/04/2016

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If they are following the current court order... no, of course not. I find it completely ridiculous that all the time he was a deadbeat you never took him to court for not following the order, but now that he is following the order you are complaining about it.

Raye - posted on 01/05/2016

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Gotta love these people that don't want to hear truth, get all pissy, then delete their accounts.

Raye - posted on 01/04/2016

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Uh, Dove didn't resort to name calling. So what does that make the OP?

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Dove - posted on 01/04/2016

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Dove is my favorite brand of chocolate. Has nothing to do w/ the bird or peace or any such nonsense... Sorry/not sorry if the truth hurts. lol

MaryAnn - posted on 01/04/2016

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...Wow.
Dad has some stability and you blame his wife because HE is following court orders and doing right by his kids?
Lemme tell you something. Step moms have it hard enough. This actually has nothing to do with her. Its about his relationship with his kids.

[deleted account]

I find it completely ridiculous that your name is "Dove" and you're such a stupid judgmental bitch.

Raye - posted on 01/04/2016

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Well, if he was a dead-beat, then it wasn't a "wonderful" co-parenting relationship. Just because you got what you wanted (him not around much) doesn't mean it was ideal for anyone else but yourself. If the court orders say he gets them for a certain time period, then you must follow the orders or go back to court to get them changed. I don't know what court would take away rights just because he wasn't good at following them THEN... they will be more interested in him wanting to follow them NOW.

And while I agree it might be better for them to be with you versus with the SM when he's at work, you can't dictate that. He's allowed to have someone else watch them. But, you can't put all the blame on the SM, aka "intruder". You may feel she's intruding on your time with the kids, but it's actually time that he should have been getting all along. It also could be that the father is more stable in his life now and wants to be there more for his kids.

Depending on how old the kids are, they could have their opinions heard and considered in court, but is it really worth dragging them through court if they're not being hurt by being with their father and SM? Let him have a chance to prove himself. The kids will get used to the new schedule and, once it's routine, the complaining should stop.

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