Convincing in-laws in adoption

Shweta - posted on 09/24/2014 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I have a biological daughter and now I want to adopt another child. My mother-in-law is against this idea. How do we convince her?

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Shweta - posted on 09/24/2014

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Michelle, I don't know what problem she has. She is giving any damn reasons like you will have cancer if you use contraception and do not have biological child(But, I already have one). She said in what circumstances he/she must have born. How would be his genes. Because of him/her your and your husband's relationship will spoil. She says that this principally sounds good but not practically. Are you just doing this to oppose me???

All meaningless thoughts that she can think of....:(

Not talking precisely on adoption things.... Me n my husband are thinking of showing her some good examples of adoptive family. Let's c.. It is going to be very very very difficult.

And the main thing is she is not at all attached witgh my bio baby also.

Shweta - posted on 09/24/2014

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I completely agree with you @Sarah. We will try to convince her and ask her to be supportive and if she cannot then we will have to drop this plan of adopting. Because, we cannot cut our relationship with her at any given cost.

Sarah - posted on 09/24/2014

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You and your husband have a decision to make. The two of you need to sit down and discuss the situation and make a united plan. You have to decide if this is something the both of you want to move forward on no matter what sacrifices that means there might be. If you adopt and your mother in law still does not approve and plays favorites or makes negative comments or actions about the adoption or the child you both have to be willing to cut ties from your mother in law. You have to put your family and the adopted child first. If this is something you both can't do then don't adopt as it is not fair for the adopted child to be put in that situation. If you and your husband decide this is what you are going to do no matter the sacrifices that may need to be made then that is also how you approach it with your mother in law. You inform her that this is what you are going to do. You state that you want and hope she will be supportive, but that if she can't and this affects the child then your family comes first and ties will be cut with her. THIS NEEDS TO BE VOICED AS A UNITED FRONT FROM BOTH YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND. If it can't be voiced that way don't adopt.

Shweta - posted on 09/24/2014

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She is a widow and it is our responsibility to take care of her now. She has suffered a lot b'coz my father-in-law was drunker and her mother-in-law gave her lots of trouble. My husband don't want to make her unhappy. But he also wants a second child. And he thinks that adoption is a great thing and he is willing to do it.

N I feel if my mother-in law becomes unhappy, she will always keep on bothering my husband, n I don't want to disturb him.

But it is my childhood dream to adopt. :(:(:( what do I do..........................???????????????

Michelle - posted on 09/24/2014

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What has it got to do with her? If you and your husband want to adopt then it's your decision and she doesn't need to approve at all.
I suggest not even discussing it with her.

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