COPING WITH A DAUGHTER THAT USE TO CUT HERSELF

Gigi - posted on 12/11/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have a daughter that would cut herself, we started seeing a therapist however she would not talk to him, once I started taking her she stopped cutting, I would have her put scar medicine so she doesn't scar up, she has been doing it everyday never had a problem with it, she would even ask me for the medicine, yesterday she finally spoke to the therapist so I was happy, I didn't ask anything because I told her that its between her and her therapist if she wishes to share with me than I would completely listen to everything she had to say. well we came home and I saw her medicine in the trash, which I was shocked I asked if she had gone thru that whole tube because its a pretty good size and she responded to me in an aggressive manner saying shes not putting that stuff on cuz her therapist told her to stop so she can have those scars to remind her of what she has done. I feel very confused I feel betrayed by the therapist. please I appreciate any comments. am I wrong for having my daughter put the medicine on? should the therapist tell a 13yrold to go against her parents?

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Gigi - posted on 12/12/2013

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I didn't say he was wrong and I haven't spoken to him. I feel confused because all the times I told him what we were doing he never told me i shouldn't have her do that and the way she responded to me with aggressiveness made me feel as if we've been forcing her and that was never the case. Its very hard going through this because we feel like we are walking on eggshells.
Thank you for your support

Jodi - posted on 12/11/2013

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Or a better question is, should the parent of a 13 year old who is self harming and finally talking to her therapist be telling the therapist he is wrong? He probably didn't tell her what to do, but rather made a suggestion within the conversation they had about her steps toward healing. Why don't you just give it a go and see if it has a positive effect? As you aren't a therapist, you can't know whether it will or not.

Can you ask your daughter why the therapist suggested this? I am not saying whether it is right or wrong, but you weren't privy to the entire conversation. There is more to it than the part you got from your daughter.

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