Rekha - posted on 01/12/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )
I have had three children up til now. my daughter was born in 2008. unfortunately, she died 19 days after she was born. i was so desperate to have a baby, i got pregnant again within 9 months, and had a beautiful baby boy. he is now 18 months. to finish of my family, i got pregnant (again 9 months later) and was expecting. my due date was 5th Jan. on 22nd Dec i went for a routine midwife appointment, and she told me she couldn't find a heartbeat when she listened in on the baby. she then sent me straight to the hospital where they confirmed there was no heartbeat. i had lost my baby. i still had to go through the whole labour process, but at the end of it there was no baby to go home with.
obviously, i am grateful that i have one, and he is helping me to see the good side, but i have become numb to feeling any emotions. how does one deal with such a double trauma? i cant even say i was over losing my daughter, and now i have to mourn my youngest son too? how does a person deal with something like this? i have been told i have to carry on for my middle ones sake, i know i do, but only 1 out of 3 to be happy ending doesn't seem fair at all.