Corpooral punishment

Helen - posted on 05/07/2016 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I am a single mum, I am new in here.
I have three lovely kids, 12 year old girl, 14 and 16 year old boys.

I have been facing some problems with my two boys lately, I have found sigaretts under my 14 year old sons bed, and my oldest one is drinking and smoking too. I have told them several times that this is not acceptable.

I left my husband two years ago, he used to punish the boys from time to time and I think that didn't harm them.

I know this is a difficult topic, and we all love our children. Time has changed, when I was a girl 40 years ago spanking was pretty normal.

I hope someone can help me out here, I find this very difficult to handle.
My ex husband is living so far away and he has already settled with a new woman and doesn't have time for his own kids anymore. Well thats how I feel it...

Will it be wrong of me punishing my kids when I really finds it necessary?
Thanks in advance

Helen

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Anita - posted on 05/22/2016

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Discipline is certainly a part of parenting - kids need it desperately! In my opinion there is an age that is appropriate for spanking - and then after that we can use different methods of discipline. The ages of your children really require something like consequences or taking away privileges. Our 17 year old daughter was just caught misbehaving…and we made her curfew earlier and have not allowed her to spend the night out. This has cramped her style to say the least - but we have gotten our point across! At older ages you want to shape their heart and mold their character - not just give them a painful swat on the rear! That’s my thought!

Michelle - posted on 05/07/2016

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I also don't agree that they need a spanking.
I find that banning technology for a day or so really works. Even telling them that if they don't clean their room then they won't have technology for the weekend is motivation enough.

Jodi - posted on 05/07/2016

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No, boys that age do NOT need "good old fashioned discipline". They don't need to be hit. My husband and I have raised two boys without them needing to be hit. Just be firm and consistent with your consequences. But hitting them? That's just teaching them that violence solves problems. Don't we have enough violence in the world? If removing privileges isn't working, you just haven't found the currency yet.

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Sarah - posted on 05/07/2016

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If you want positive reinforcement of spanking teen boys, you should try the pro-spaking community. I personally think spanking a teen absurd. They have reasoning and language skills and can be disciplined without hitting them. Take away privileges, tighten the reins and pull them in before they spin out of control. What have you tired thus far to stop the bad behavior?

Dove - posted on 05/07/2016

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Hitting teenagers is flat out stupid. I'm sorry if that is blunt and rude, but your neighbor is crazy to think/say that.

Helen - posted on 05/07/2016

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Thank you Michelle, I will do that.
Anyway, I have tried removing their currency. Of course it works, but not as much as I hoped.

Helen

Helen - posted on 05/07/2016

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Hi Jody
Has I have considered removing privileges, and actually done that too.
I think that works more effective on my daughter than my two boys.

My neighbour lady told me that the only thing that works for boys that age is good old fashioned discipline. I am not sure, maybe I haven't done enough for them...

Helen

Michelle - posted on 05/07/2016

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I agree with Jodi, you need to find their currency and remove it.
I also suggest removing your email address as this is an international open forum and anyone can have access to it. It's just basic internet security.

Jodi - posted on 05/07/2016

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Punishing or disciplining your kids? No problem, but you shouldn't hit them. Have you considered removing privileges?

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