coul tell her about The Rules but I can't suggest it myself- it would be embarrassing for both of us.(In fact, I had contacted one of the coaches on the rules site and she suggested that I try and contact her to tell her anyway, since we had somewhat of a close relationship through dinners with my son- so I sent her an email, first complimenting her on the portrait she painted of my son, and could I buy a print of it, and by the way, I would like to send her a book that I found helpful if she would like- but I never heard back from her- as I thought- I am not the rightperson to let her know about it) Just yesterday the subject of my son's ex came up when at dinner, my husband asked if my son might try to have dinner with or meet her for a cup of coffee sometime. My son replied that the only way that could happen would be if she were to contact him, and he supposed that she was still mad at him for the break up. He said, though, he did not think he would be interested in getting back together since he thought she had been too dependent, and seemed things were

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/15/2013

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So, seriously? You want to intrude on her life, after your son has dumped her, to offer her dating advice?

I'd think that's beyond pushy, to be honest...If she doesn't want to see him, or associate with him, or you, that is her prerogative. And, another thing...quit bringing up the subject of your son's ex to him.

Ex means over, done with, moving on. If there weren't children involved, then why keep opening that wound?

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Louise - posted on 08/16/2013

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Thanks for your reply. No, I don't want to intrude on her life. I do miss her, as I got to know her well- but all I can do is hope that she finds someone, and has a good life. It is just that, in my own experience, when I was single, I was too quick to fall for a guy who was interested, and then the guy would end the relationship. This happened several times to me. Then, about 11 years ago, a girlfriend told me about a book called "The Rules" (The 2 women who wrote it now have a website) and I thought to myself, "Oh! That is what went wrong! " I learned not to call the next guy who came along- it was also a help that when I met my future husband I had a crush on someone but it had not gone anywhere- therefore I was more slow and just wanting to be friends, and was able to follow "The Rules" better. So- when I heard my son say the other day that his ex had some dependency problems, I saw the same mistakes I used to make, before I knew about "The Rules". If only she could know about "The Rules" it may help her the next time around. I had contacted a coach listed on the site, and she suggested that perhaps, since I had known her well, I could send her the book or tell her about it. When I emailed her, I did not mention the book- just complimented her on a painting she did and wondered if I could buy a print of it. This way, I could see if she would respond- when she did not, I realized that it would be a really bad idea if I told her about the book (fortunately I did not!) I just wish somehow some way she could find out about it- if only I knew someone who knew her then they could tell her, or some anonymous way to let her know, But, I guess that is not possible. I just feel sad for her-I know that she was really sad when they broke up- (Also, my son had recently said that he still cares about her, but felt he made the right decision).- but you are right- I have to just do nothing. I just brought this up in case anyone had an idea that I had not thought of- but I will not try to contact her again.

Louise - posted on 08/16/2013

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The Rules is a book that gives advice to women on dating. A friend of mine told me about it some years ago and I found it very helpful. I had better luck when I followed the advice they give. The 2 women who wrote the book now have a web site: www.therulesbook.com

You can check it out if you are interested- if you have a daughter of dating age or are a single parent who would like to meet someone, or in a dating relationship, you may find it helpful. If you have a girlfriend who is single and interested in dating, you can tell her about it. My friend who told me did me a service, I think! I was a single parent, and now am happily married.

Louise - posted on 08/15/2013

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I guess my post was too long- I was wondering if there was some way I could anonymously send her the book or let her know about the Rules website- since, unfortunately, I don't know anyone who knows her - if any of you out there have any ideas I would appreciate them- I would just want her to have good luck- but don't want to embarrass her- or, as I know- hearing from me just reminds her of my son, with would be painful if she still has feelings- Thanks- replies much appreciated.

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