Shanel - posted on 11/02/2014 ( 18 moms have responded )
So I had my daughter in 2012 and after my daughter was born I found out a lot of things about her dad(who I was still with). He had told me that he was a marine and I went to the marine recruiting place and found out that he never even made it to bootcamp. Then he had told me that his mom overdosed on drugs and died and then I found out that she is alive and I actually met her. He told me that his dad(who he was living with at the time) beat him as a kid and then he said that was a lie. Before I became pregnant he would tell me all these stories about being in Afghanistan and how he was paranoid when he came home and he would walk up and down the street with a crow bar at night. I mean this guy had story after story that sounded so real. Then he became what I like to call abusive. He would put his arms around my neck (knowing that I'm claustrophobic) and hold me there till I couldn't breath and I would freak out. He pushed me in my stomach multiple times when I was pregnant and he told me to abort my child because he wasn't ready to be a dad. He would throw things at me and yell at me. He then started with the name callings so there was a lot of put downs from him. So once I had found out all of his lies after my daughter was born I left him. He wanted me back but I would not take him back and then we didn't get along at all after that so I filed for full custody. We went to court and talked to a mediator and the mediator said that she thinks that I should have full legal and physical custody and that the dad should have third party visitation rights. My daughters dad agreed to it so I was granted full legal and physical custody. I told the judge that I didn't want child support. So his third party visitations have been at my house since then with my mother being the third party. Things between him and I got worse after that. We were always arguing and he would cuss at me and call me names in front of my daughter so he was asked to leave his visits many times. Then things got better and him and I decided to try and work things out for my daughter but he would never pay attention to her, only me. So I told him that I couldn't do it anymore and then it came out that he had a gf the whole time and from there things got really bad. He started threatening me that he will take me to court for joint custody. He started telling me that he wants to take my daughter from me so him, his gf and my daughter could be a family. Then little by little he stopped coming to a lot of his visits. He is scheduled for Mondays, wednesdays and fridays. He usually comes only once every 2 weeks. Then one day his gf started texting me from his phone. Then she started messaging me on fb and told me that she didn't give a fuck to be in my daughters life! And now my daughters dad has been blowing my daughter off a lot to be at raves with his gf and he is still threatening me with getting joint. I have everything written down about him in a notebook from him not showing up to the phone calls where he tries to argue and just everything! I now filed for child support and so he said he went and filed for joint custody so he won't have to pay. Even though he hardly comes around when he is supposed to, will they grant him with joint custody? He has a good job and I don't work. I have a college degree but I'm a stay at home mother. I live for my baby girl and I've been there for her since day one and he never has been. He puts clubbing, drinking, partying, friends and girls before her. What could happen in court?