Counseling for Child in Divorce

Katie - posted on 02/11/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




Hi all, another question!

Back story is that my boyfriend and his wife are getting divorced and they have a 6 yr old son together. I believe that the custody schedule and escalated tension between the parents have triggered a lot of stress in him (see previous post). After a conversation with some of the ladies here, they have suggested counseling. Possibly a court appointed counselor.
When I brought the possibility up to his father, he expressed concerns that a court appointed counselor could affect the outcome of custody with the divorce. His son is very much a momma's boy and his mother and her parents spoil him incessantly. He has very few boundaries at her house and does as he pleases. Dad has always been the disciplinarian, even when they were together. So the concern is that if pushed to make a choice, he would pick his mom's because it's easier there.
Could the 6 year old's preference for his mother negatively affect his father's chances of him getting equal time or primary custody in the divorce?


Ev - posted on 02/15/2015




Also speaking from experience, a child of this age is not going to be able to tell a judge what he or she wants and get it. Only those appointed by the court are going to be able to tell the judge what they have seen and witnessed in interviews, home visits, and such as fact for the judge to base his or her decision on what is best for the child. Divorce is very hard on the children. Much more than the adults involved. Children have no say in what is going on. THey do not know which parent they will actually end up with and if they prefer one over the other, that may not be the parent they end up living with. A lot of times kids are used as pawns in these cases. I am glad you have concern for this child and all you can do is support dad and the child in this. Make sure the child knows that he can come to you when all else seems like he can not deal with either parent. Be a mentor or friend at this point, another adult who loves this child and cares for them. Kids know. And adults fail to give them credit for knowing.

Dove - posted on 02/11/2015




A counselor is going to look out for the best interest of the child... not just what the child WANTS.


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