Courageous parenting

Bethany - posted on 12/08/2011 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I have been asked to speak in church and was given the topic "courageous parenting". What do you think courageous parentIng is?

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Krista - posted on 12/09/2011

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Parenting, in and of itself, is courageous.

When we have a child, it is as though a part of our own heart has left our body, and has taken the form of a tiny, helpless person. Whatever happens to them, happens to our own heart.

And there is so much potential for heartache there.

We worry about their nutrition, their sleep, their development, their little bumps and bruises, their grades, their friendships, their activities, what they're up to when not in our sight, their choices in life, their education, their love life, their career, and then THEIR own kids.

Being a parent -- being a GOOD parent -- is terrifying. We fret that this small choice or that small choice may reverberate into something so much larger, and permanently damage our kid's psyche. We want so desperately to raise them into happy, healthy, productive adults with courage, kindness and integrity. And we are SO terrified of screwing up. Of getting it wrong. Or, of things going wrong due to no fault of our own, and not being able to do a damn thing about it.

But we continue on. We keep going, and we do our best and we love, and we hope, and we pray.

We push through it -- through the sleepless nights, and the cries of "I HATE you!" and the umpteen thankless moments, when we hand even more of our hearts to our kids, and through carelessness or malice, they stomp all over it.

But we keep going. Courage is to do what your heart tells you is right, despite your fears. Being a good parent means being courageous...every minute of every day, for the rest of your life.

Cynthia - posted on 12/10/2011

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In short, you put the benefit of your child first and put aside any concern of what you will look like.

Cynthia - posted on 12/10/2011

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I admire and agree with all that Krista said but the first thing that came to mind when I read your question - and maybe this is because my daughter is still very young - is that you are confronted to people with different ideas of "good parenting" everyday (when you go to the groceries, shopping, anything in public) and will be judged for your actions whatever they are. Disciplining my toddler in public will get me the disapproval of some, while not disciplining her will surely get me the disapproval of others as well. Breastfeeding in public is yet another example... Feeding my kid fastfood would also get me judged.

So when I read your question about courageous parenting, I immediately thought about tough love and all the occasions where you have to stick to your parenting style in public knowing your actions might offend some and or you will be judged for them.

Alberta - posted on 12/09/2011

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Courageous parenting is standing by your childs bed and wondering if they will see their next birthday and smiling while your heart shatters.

Courageous parenting is holding you childs hand during yet another test to determine what is wrong and how and IF it can be fixed or cured.

Courageous parenting is getting up in the morning to attend your childs funeral and not pulling the blankets back over your head,

Courageous parenting is raising the other children and making life good inspite of the fact that part of your heart is no longer living.

My sister and my friend are courageous parents! The continue to love their child that passed on and love and care for the children here. Both of these courageous parents lost a child in December and ever since then they have lived on. God Bless those courageous parents that continue on without a child.

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Bethany - posted on 12/17/2011

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Thank you all! I got such great feed back from all of you and my talk went great! I have been stopped by people all week that were there on Sunday and complimented so thank you thank you for your feedback!

Pamela - posted on 12/16/2011

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The ability to correct behavior even when it may hurt your child's feelings. The ability to stand up for your child's rights outside of the home. The ability to be one of those parents who parents other people's children because you FIRMLY believe that "It takes a village to rear a child".

The ability to stand for the rights of ALL children on this planet to have the basic needs of life and to WALK YOUR TALK!!!

To accept Supreme Divine guidance when your own ability falls short of the task at hand.

And above all....TO LOVE ALL CHILDREN, ESPECIALLY YOUR OWN UNCONDITIONALLY!!!!!!!

Bethany - posted on 12/09/2011

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Thank you krista this is beautifully well said. Do you mind if I quote you on Sunday?

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