cps-I can prove they did fraud, heres a video

Jessica - posted on 12/18/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Watch that all the way through, then tell me what YOU think. If you need to, check the numbers but please be mindful, I kept badge numbers out due to the fact I do not want any harm to come to the officers in uniform or out. People could use badge numbers to find them or something and I have heard stories or people losing jobs over facing off things like this.

I am a college student, estranged from my husband due to domestic abuse(from his end), and believe in a gentle hand and a firm word when needed though I am unsure about the spanking debate, it is certainly not something I favor, that is for sure. I am currently trying to get off of public assist and get an hourly job(I actually work as a phone psychic reading tarot). I am very religious and a second degree in my chosen path. After I was informed about parenting classes(which was not told to me until I actually got the worker on the phone while recording and informed her of such, and yes, I record my calls and have caught slip ups, I also document everything, save everything from this and related things, and basically, if my public defender gave a shit her case is neatly put together FOR her because of it).

I believe those who stand by and watch are just as evil as those who do the deeds themselves. Their is no such thing as good people who do nothing, I say this as a child who was heavily abused. I blog on YouTube, and keep a private blog with all the touchy feelly crying and whining and frustration in it. I figure... keeping it in only hurts you so control how you express it but make sure you do. My closest friends and those I care most for are able to view that and only those people. I have cried many a night and wondered why I go on, I will not lie.

I have been unable to walk into their room for months and I isolate as I feel like a horrible mother for not being able to stop this.

I have been told I have very mil, high functioning, autism, PTSD, and anxiety. I have been stable off medications for over 3 years, and it has been discovered the medications had been what made me sick before. Due to intense abuse, I lost my memories shortly before reaching adulthood and have been working alone to try to remember. The mental health system has been no help even though I told someone at the time. My family member who inflicted the abuse that wiped my memory blank panicked and beat the holy hell out of me before she calmed down and "taught" me my basic information, such as name, DOB, etc. The first memories I recovered were the ones they wanted me to recall the least. My fathers murder for example. The family member in question was their, and did not wish for me to recall the incident. It was the first thing I remembered, and trust me... being an adult and having something that happened so long ago feel so fresh.... is not something most people will understand.

The information I have compiled and recorded would put a lot of people in a very compromising place. organizations such as family advocates, advocates for the disabled(and yes, I am classified as such as I have a social anxiety I am trying to work past but find it hard since they would rather build a ramp for a wheel-chair than adhere to small requests like not standing behind me and making sure not to surprise me, you would be jumpy too).

I do not dispute the fact I have issues, and I have been seeking counseling. Since medications make me sick(in the head) and counseling is appropriate treatment for ptsd(and I was told with one counseling placement- that did not work out due to conflict with her views on a rapist rape vic relationship, my goal was to deal with it, hers was to get me in the same room with him- conflicting views). It can take years to find a good counselor.

Contrary to my issues, this snatch was invalid. Not only by their own site regulations but by the law. Last I checked fraud, defamation of character, extortion(is that what you call "do this or your children will never be seen again") when they pulled up the ninety day paper work to have me "voluntarily" sign it it was anything but and everyone knew it. Only one of my children was at that meeting and I was paralyzed, unable to choose between them but knowing from the previous threats that I would never see my oldest son again. The next time I saw him, I saw this, if the video itself doesn't show up, then please follow the link, without it you can't see it. The video is set on unlisted.



The video was quick but if you pause it you will see something I had kept my children from experiencing, worked so hard to prevent, my fears, all over my child. His fosters beat the crap outta him and that was why he wasn't at the meeting. My worries were realized. the worker first made excuses and the fosters claim he fell on the tile. not all of the bruises are showing as the camera used was crappy, and many were still forming. I got down on my hands and knees and begged the worker, demanded, pleaded, even if they couldn't come home, he couldn't go back their. he was inconsolable, and while he was still crying they took him away, I was made to sign another paper indicating a ninety day again. I did not know why and in all honesty I was in shock and was willing to do or sign whatever in order to get my child away from that. no child should ever be abused.

Even with my past I am still trying to make a life for me and my children. I face fears every day for this dream and yet, I have said they needed to be investigated form the beginning, and only after getting a different person at family advocates, only after they filed for a preliminary hearing... did I learn that an invest8iagtion should have been done when I said it was invalid. I understand perfectly well but yet, preying on the autism I was honest about in the beginning, they harp on my general understanding. Actually, my autism is only obvious in social interactions and it is why I was looking for play groups and trying to find out when to start them and trying to find out when to do this and that. They need to know that mommy isn't normal so they can be either normal or not as they themselves are.

My children were thriving, talking(even my youngest had been heard speaking actual words) and I have people who can say this with certainty, both friends and barely tolerated people who probably would rather see me rot in some kind of hell and admittedly vice versa. Even my "enemies" admit that the worst I have ever done is let them play after diner but before their bath outside(basically with food still a bit on their faces) and if cps had an issue with THAT all they had to do was say so and I would have changed it to bathing before outside and then again.... though.... I was concerned about damaging their skin. A sensitivity to that runs in the family. I myself get dry skin due to to enjoying bathing and they also were bath loving little munchkins. they ate their vegetables and my oldest fav food was broccoli and cheese. steamed carrots were a normal snack.

My youngest was a chatter box with an uncanny knack for problem solving and my oldest was a loud but very friendly and sometimes shy boy who was very sweet but heatpoundingly fearless. I swear I swallowed my heart many times with all the times he scared the crud outta me. He is at that age. His brother was starting that very same path.... except HE is a climber. I had no idea the new levels of complete horror and heart attacks that could threaten to make happen. Good thing they were not left alone unless they were in nap time... and I leave nothing climbable(minus their crib and toddler bed respectively).

I have written to news stations, contacted those who are supposed to help.... posted all over Facebook and twitter and.... nothing.

It seems too many people are so evil as to stand by and do nothing.

Seeing this, you may disagree with my views on many things, and you may agree I have issues, however my "issues" are not a parenting issue. they are something I deal with on a regular basis and did both before and after my precious boys were born, and will have a lifetime of doing so for the rest of my life. I am half blind but I am fine in my daily routines. I have a learning "disability" but I am going to school. I have issues with being jumpy around people and sometimes I stutter but... I am seeking work. I am on government assistance but I am trying to get to where I do not need to be.

Their claims are denied by the police they say were involved. I have always commended those officers who do well and rebuked those who did not. I will not lie, I do not like corrupt officers and had all but lost hope in the police until the day that officer got my husband out. I was near tears and ready to beg on my hands and knees. I had finally got enough gall to get him out and it wasn't singularly a serious enough incident but the officer knew what I could not even bring myself to say, even that it wasn't just "two months ago", even knowing my then roommate had heard and done nothing but turn her radio up. "Why did you rape your wife?", I will never forget it. I will never forget that officers determination to do the right thing. I wanted to prevent the incident from progressing, knowing when they left, if he was still their, it would. I wanted to get him out before he tried to hurt the kids as he did try at one point. I got in the way and took the strike. My children should never, no-matter how young, had to see that. My oldest shoudl not have repeated such vile things with "daddy says"... my husband... should not have done those things and.... this officer.... I had been so afraid to say anything. I am glad.... that even though he did it by the books... his reasons were to protect and serve and make sure we were safe. I know I made mistakes int his, and have sworn not to date actually. Seems I pick badly, and this is including after the divorce too. Religiously we are not married, but legally we are, so I still consider this a technicality. the matter is overly complicated and to be honest, I am ashamed to say I still love him. I will not allow him back, but... the heart is foolish like that.


I lay it all down before your feet to judge me as you will. My children were fed, clothed, healthy, thriving, and unabused though I was searching for something to help with my oldests behavioral responses to my husbands erratic and not consistent contact. He may have been abusive but he was still cried for many times and so to be honest... I even begged him to say a day so I could set up a supervised visit(as I even had it out on the restraining order to allow contact for them). I know this is something some would look down on me for but... regardless I left the door to be a father open.

My oldest son is a product or rape, a rape I was told not to report. Not all officers are as good as the ones that night with my husband but I wish the ones who truly wish to help the best and to keep doing so. It is them who give those who are afraid, who feel like they can't leave or do anything, the courage to make that call. The only thing holding me back was the fear I would be told it wasn't worth their time, an officer months after I was told not to make a report informed me the previous officer had simply been unwilling to do the paperwork... because due to ptsd they would argue I didn't know the difference(regardless of the fact I do and I do not appreciate having to explain that and constantly prove it with my own words so often, sex is willing and rape is when you say NO, pushing them away is a good indicator and otherwise being very clear on the subject of your willingness, I also consider rape unto someone who cannot consent, such as someone who has been drugged up and can't fight you to be rape... having gone through that myself, I can tell you.... not being able to move, even then I was so terrified and said no.... to this day I am not sure what is worse, fighting and finding you are powerless, or not even being able to lift a finger or even stay conscious and being powerless, in that, my only mercy was my lack of ability to stay conscious).

see? issues. but being raped and abused as a child while people stand by and do nothing THEN is no reason for them to come in now. I have met plenty of amazing parents who were abused as children. It actually makes me MORE aware of the effects, at least the parts I remember. I would have welcomed help as I was looking for the information to be a better parent. and yes, I took their ridiculously elementary parenting classes. the class was actually too easy but I did learn some things I did not previous know which was good.

The only understanding I lack is why these people are allowed to ransack my family and my life this way and what gives them this right besides people just standing by and doing nothing. and yes, after years of finding out people knew after the fact... I have no respect for those who willingly stand by.... and none for those who never even try. those who can't but wish to and try and... I was a child once you know. I have survivors guilt and am far from perfect. My vow may be of harming none, including myself, but... I have spent many a night walking "what if" lane in my own mind... no, I understand being made to watch against your will, it is those who do so of their own volition I have issues with.

One obstacle is I lack the experience(no surprise since once again, I lack the memories) to tell me what shoudl and should not be said so often I opt for either complete silence or complete honesty as I really have no clue what I am supposed to say that makes it "middle" oriented.

In school, academically, my obstacles are math and not really understanding assignments on "how will you" as although I do talk alot... I am better at showing what I will do rather than using words. Probably an issue from seeing so many people say one thing and do another. I do better showing how I will handle a sitchuation and often freeze up when it comes to words. I am more an... actions kind of person... much like my father. My mother had a vipers tongue when she needed to and she was very quick to anger, but also very kind and very expressive, her weakness was her obliviousness and her denial of such.... and my father was more the... well he loved telling me stories, and listening to me, and teaching me to fight and the steps used in both fighting and dancing(though admittedly I don't remember much about that), he was strong and often his face looked... for lack of a better word to express his expression... far away. I know why now, both of my parents were in the navy, but while my mother never really left our waters... my fathers stories were of far away places. I am sure, after seeing that haunted look in my own face.... in the mirror.... that I know he was in his own memories. To be honest, it is my fathers belief that people could be amazing that keeps me wishing somebody will see and do something besides stand by and watch. Hope hurts but without it we die. my father knew this... and another thing. due to the fact that I have to use a special technique to read or write.... these are my thoughts and feelings as I think and feel them, though to describe my feelings would no doubt be bad on here.

I think the videos alone hold enough weight to give you an idea of how the sitchuation makes me feel(despite my effort to keep my face from cracking, so to speak) don't you?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Iridescent - posted on 12/18/2011

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Why do you keep posting this? CPS exists for a reason, and frankly, last time you posted and I noticed your posts I was concerned about your children's health as well. This has been going on for several months, and under different names, but always the same videos and rants. Get a lawyer. Trust them. Do what you need to in order to get stable and get your kids back. If that's parenting classes and intensive counseling, do it. Paranoia is very hard to excuse in this situation, even if "they" really are "out to get you". CPS puts kids first, and does not care what your issues are because simply put, those are just excuses. If you're not able to care for your children, they will put them somewhere they will be, no matter what the base cause is for your issues.

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Jessica - posted on 12/19/2011

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Typically they count on fear and shame judging by articles on other cases like mine.... but see.... I deal with both daily so... it comes as really no surprise that in the face of my love for my children, I am pulling out every coping mechanism I have developed or bee taught, in order to overcome this. As also previously stated. lawyers lose their jobs and ability to practice over cases like mine, and if my public defender would get her head out of her ass and stop assuming I am crazy and actually sent me the list of things she needs like I asked, and all that jazz... then I would have this entire case sitting in her lap, a little over a months worth of recorded calls included... oh yes, and emails and past records on my husband since they are so hell bent on bringing that into it. he claims I stopped him form visiting and i have emails supporting otherwise. thing is... I have so MUCH evidence, I need to know what she wants and needs. since the site "lost" my old eval and refuses to do one NOW, or even since this began... obviously I don't HAVE that, so all I can really offer her is my word and such. also, now cps is supposed to give me their own eval and nobody has as of yet, told me the sitchuation with that.

Jessica - posted on 12/19/2011

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So... miss Iridescent Moonbeams... does that sound like a good enough reason to you? in simple terms. "because it is my only hope that someone will notice and do something besides stand their", and once again, watch the video before you call out a symptom I do not and have never had off meds. On them... yes, off... no.



would you like to have the list of on and off the medications, what my symptoms are? I may even be able to(if I am allowed extra time) alphabetize them. I know myself a bit too well and question everything BECAUSE I was raised in the mental health system since cps opened that can of worms for my grandmother to exploit years ago. I know myself and as of right now, I have nothing to lose except the obvious visits with my kids, and I would never knowingly do anything to jeopardize those.



I suggest you do some research of your own before you call a video containing a recorded call to the police, in which they deny the claims, paranoid. this case is both a lawyers dream and worst nightmare... and I know it. does that make it a good thing? does that mean someone may actually do something? no it doesn't, but hope... it doesn't just exist to rip you apart inside, that is just a byproduct of the world crushing you and you standing with said hope. no... I hope someone stands up and does something other than watch, I am not even allowed to talk to my kids over the phone, which isn't the point.... for them to hear my voice and for me to know they are OK... that is something I not only advocated with my husband but never disallowed minus once where he called very late on a different day and they were in dead sleep. I conceded and told him to call the next day at a sensible time. I am far from unreasonable.



they have denied me this, and have not given a single straight answer as to why. they have mostly blamed the foster mom.

Jessica - posted on 12/18/2011

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Lady. if you can't handle honesty, don't comment, and actually if you watch the top video, no, it isn't the same. I never said they were out to get me, so do not place words or intent in my mouth or in this case, on my finger tips. As far a a lawyer... I have a public defender. If you didn't notice, I am poor, have no money, and therefore am ignored, and yes, this is on Facebook, twitter, here, and plenty of places, and since I have two face-books, and YouTube didn't allow me the name I wanted when I created it all that time ago.... no, I do not have the same name, but I will tell you this, I prefer to go by "Luna". Last time, I was kicked off this site and was unable to access anything on here after people put word in my mouth and insinuated non truths and in my panic I defended. I was also on medication at the time, and as previously stated, that is not a good thing. I have sought out help and saw it as something not worthy to put on the above, since, it should be assumed by me posting here, that I have sought help already. Lady... I do not suffer from paranoia, it is not one of my underline(or otherwise in existent) symptoms. I WAS taught marital arts as a young child though and while my body is often unable to keep up with the movements... the discipline and the teachings of awareness did stay. I do however, always double check first just to make sure. I presume you are female,and I am telling you that while I am unremarkable, and not paranoid, you would have to be stupid to not notice THAT. If you had watched the video at the top, which is actually almost 10 minutes long, and if you crossed your facts and checked up on everything, you would find it to all be true. The police deny everything. I had previously thought, based on an obscene question asked after the officer talked to my ex roommate(who was retaliating after recieveing notice due to issues she had been causing, and had tossed many of our belongings in the dumpster, and placed my cat outside), if I thought my cat could turn into a person. If you watch the video, they put different dates, added somethign that didn't even happen(and yes, the officer DID have a problem with mental illness and did try to find reason to call cps, and did NOT ask before searching my apartment and finding not enough reason, even called in another officer in such an attempt, but people who have such issues exist in every day life, we deal with them and then... you move on with your life hoping they will get over it, because those people are really sad on the inside, at least to me, I feel sorry for people like that), and anyway, I now have scars I would not have had otherwise due to health issues the stress caused, the medication made me go loony while I was on it and I cut off the hair I was working very hard to grow out. They could not know the significance my hair has to me on an emotional level. it is stupid but it has to do with my parents. My parents are dead, sometimes things others brush off are really obscene reminders I am clinging to in hopes they trigger a memory that isn't traumatic. so far, I got both of my parents loved my hair long, and that trumps the memory that made me wish it was gone. that however, is once again, not something they find concern with, and neither should you. I have admitted to having issues with trauma and such, and I am not paranoid. I am appalled this has gotten this far. My mental health case manager is an ex cps worker, and I was stupid to think he was wanting to do anything helpful. No... I am not paranoid and sometimes that is a problem. If I had been paranoid I would have seen the signs. He was constantly saying he was scheduling the evaluation when in fact, they have refused to DO the evaluation. Period. My mental health site has been in process of transferring me for over ten months. Now, only after being really loud all over the internet, they have finally got the ball rolling. I cope, and otherwise do what I need to do. It is harder without the kids here and to be perfectly honest, I hate my cps case managers overly obtuse and self ritious guts along with her "I can do anything I want attitude" but more than that, I hate how this HAS only gotten so far because while I am doing all I can, when you hear about a cps report where the kids are taken, you can't tell me with any form of curtainty that you do not assume the snatch is valid. So no, I will not take this off or stop posting it. The worker herself has told me to clam up and that is enough to tell me I should shout it from the rooftops in of itself but the sad thing is... she is right and i hate it. CPS can in fact do anything they want because out of all of those who have seen or heard of this..... how many do you think simply put... brush it off and leave it to happen? I have extensively researched other cases like mine and find myself appalled. Cases like mine should not exist yet not only do they exist, their are reports of lawyers losing their jobs or license over defending them, valid cases on the parents side, but also... though I have thus far and so continue to do.... I have and do all I can and their is little I myself can do without help. For now, I am forced to hope my father was correct all those years ago. My only hope is that maybe people can do amazing things. Too bad he was killed by some of the very people he joined the navy to defend... they really didn't just kill my dad that day, and since then I have grown up and learned in a "world" where people act curtain ways to get what they need and genuinely good people who reach out and do amazing things as my father used to say... either lack the ability, or do not turn any form of gaze onto me. It seems I am just special in a dismissible way. These are my views and to be honest, I still keep many of them inside, but the REAL question is... do my views make me a bad parent... or simply someone who has never been part of that type of thing as anything but the giver. I sign petitions for things, and I am doing my best with what I have. The fact is, this should not have gotten so far. I regret paying any attention to the woman who pretended to offer help as a friend... she was later at the cps office... I regret telling her anything and have considered blocking her but have decided not to... it serves as a lesson to me. I have been blogging to cope, and though most of it is private blog... but my public one has 4 posts so far. http://truemoons-wierdface.blogspot.com/ to be honest, I prefer being independent, and hate being rescued... but... I cannot do this alone, so I am being as loud as possible and hoping someone sees it who can and will help. That, at this point, is my only hope. I know my position and have a need to change it. I hope somebody... anybody, sees it. The more who see it... the more likely that fantastic fantasy my father told me about amazing things and how amazing people could make them happen... I am foolish to hope, but... perhaps next time it won't be an undercover worker. Oh and...in face to face meetings I have already discerned they are taking advantage of my openness. Some of the things they have told me are stupid and wrong and no cps worker should ever tell you that or treat you as such, but me repeating that they have with their current accusations... makes it seem like i am crazy to anyone who looks no further. I know this now. I learn quickly... because I have to. Having no memory will do that. I guess you could say... I hold onto even the horrible memories because they are clues to who I was, and that I was once worth the love to stand by my side and treat me like a person. at first... such memories were sheer torchure, to remember being hurt and to have memories of your own thoughts, to have that being your only clue... but now I have some good memories too. I wonder if their are any amazing people like my papa that are still alive. amazing people seem to die too soon. even a friend of mine... is dying. He is staying with family and I also worry over him. He doesn't take care of himself or even tell his family everything they should know. So... if you watch the video on the initial post, you will understand. and you tell ME, knowing I have done everything in my power(and cps admits this too), should this have even gotten so far?



ah and an edit, I already did everything they asked of me. THE ONLY reason(they admitted this in a room full of people, my rapist included, that the only reason they have my kids is mental illness). the case manager herself later changed her story, probably knowing this is wrong, however, their is a room full of people who knows what was said. their "main" reason was this one thing, this single accusation, something I have always denied, and even then, I got a comment on Facebook saying my thoughts on my cats state of being do not make me a bad parent. the point being... not only is it false, but I have advocated this cases investigation since the beginning, and though I did not know the possibility, I was speaking to people as places such as "family advocates". I was essentially denied an investigation by those who knew it was not only possible, but who knew it should be done, and assumed. The last person I spoke to.... got their number on my desk somewhere... was the person who told me and hoped the holes in the paper work would help.



the fact is, I am reduced to hoping someone notices and help. This is my life. As of current, I am subject to the fate of the choices of those around me, and I hate it.... even more so because my children should never be subject to this. In a court of law they advocated my children were now developmentally challenged. I will not lie, for that... I am livid. from thriving to challenged, and they did worse than not tell me, they kept randomly saying their were concerns and then that they were fine and switching.



Are you kidding me? I am doing this because it is all I CAN do at this point beyond what I am already doing... which I know will not be enough. It never is.

Jessica - posted on 12/18/2011

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the below video didn't show up on the initial post but this is what I was talking about, his fosters did this.



a quick note, he is now with different fosters, the same placement as his brother, and this is preferable to the in laws who it was reported to me by my husband were abusive. their treatment of myself and their attempts to say "we are reaching out" while they do not..... is not reassuring in this matter. while my family looked away, my husband reported theirs, participated and wreather or not I know he often creates stories... I know my husband well enough to know... that was not his "shit face lie" way of talking. If you know someone long enough, you know when they are lying. sometimes I couldn't tell. he detached too much from it.

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