Crazy Ex-Wives - Does anyone have to deal with them?????

Tee - posted on 05/05/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )




My husband and I have been together for 6 years and we have been married for almost a year. During our entire relationship this woman has been a pain in the you know what. He has 2 children with her and she is basically out of control. She feels that she can manipulate him and make him do what she wants him to do. They have joing custody and equal parenting time but yet she manages to interfere with his time with his children every week. She leaves horrible text messages and threats all the time. It is getting very time consuming and harrassing. My husband is filing a motion with the court as I am writing this to establish a non interference order as well as to adjust the parenting time and child support. She doesn't know it yet but when she finds out she is going to lose her mind even more.

He has been over paying in child support for 3 years and she knows it. She continues to lie about her income when we all know that she is making way more then she accounts for. What I don't get is if both parties have to maintain the children half of the time and have the same parenting schedule why is it that my husband has to pay an OUTRAGEOUS amount of child support especially when he takes care of his kids. How does the court expect these men to live when all of there money goes to the ex? If I was not in his life he would not be able to maintain his children correctly. I honestly feel that the Court system is one sided and is for the mother's.

I feel that I can say this because I work in the family division of the superior court and I see cases like this every single day. All the women care about is money. They don't even want the father's to have time with their children they just want to collect a paycheck. It is crazy!!!

I know many of you are going to feel different about this situation especially if you are the ex. I have a good husband that takes care of his kids better then he takes care of himself. He would die for his children but yet the court system treats him like a dead beat and the ex continues to manipulate him from day to day. This really sucks to watch him go through this everyday.

Sorry so long.... I just had to vent a little.


Mrs - posted on 06/02/2014




I have a solution.... it worked for me at least. I hope this helps everyone experiencing very stressful and mean exes. I too have the crazy out-of-control ex-wife problem. She demonstrates no common sense, and over reactes to everything.

The ex-wife craziness started when the ex threw a tantrum when she found out I had taught her daughter to do her own laundry at 5 years old. I did the same thing with my son at 5 years old. They love it, they enjoy the feeling of accomplishment when the laundry is done, and I make it as fun as possible. Anyways, the ex flipped out and succesfully turned all of my husbands family and friends against me saying I am a horrible person. To make a long story short, no matter what things I did she would make it into a situation that I am a horrible person.

Solution #1: Realize that when people are over reacting and talking bad about you that they are very insecure/ jealous people. This behavior is only going to hurt them, not you. Do not allow their bad/negative behavior to interfear with your emotions, and especially your family. And most important, do retaliate by doing the same immature/insecure/jealous behavior back to her.

Solution #2: I told my husband that I no longer will be dealing with his ex-wife. I told him "You married her I did not. You will be dealing with her from now on. You are not to tell me anything she does, or says... ever. Unless it is something I need to know for our daughters sake." I told him he can vent to his friends about the ex-wife, but not to me. You see, the more negative stories I heard created hatered. Hatered is never ok. You need to find a solution quick. This hatred was affecting me, my friends, and my family. My husband is the only one that talks to his ex, arranges all the miscellanous things in life. If I have any topics we feel the ex needs to know about to help the daughter I tell him to tell her. THIS HAS WORKED FLAWLESSLY.
A year later, the ex-wife and I are doing great. We can have good positive conversations. Even though we are doing great, my husband is still the one to talk with the ex, and I will keep it this way probably forever. Also, the family, and (some) friends have seen what kind of person the ex is, and have realized that I didn't do anything wrong. I did not choose to keep those people as friends. I believe that a true friend will talk to YOU if they have any concerns. Instead of listening to gossip and taking that as the truth.

Remember: DO NOT ALLOW NEGATIVITY IN YOUR LIFE. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE IN A "BLENDED" FAMILY. NO ONE DESERVES TO DEAL WITH ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR. :) I believe the person that married the crazy one, needs to deal with the crazy one. It was their bad choice in judgement not yours. (My ex-husband and his wife have never had a problem, and we get along amazingly). It takes work, it takes letting the little things in life go. But it is possible!
I Hope this helps. :)

Jeanne - posted on 05/05/2009




Honey don't worry about having to feels good sometimes doesn't it? As for crazy exes....yup...been there...done that. Unfortunately your husband is one of the few that has to pay for the mistakes of many and it's unfair.....if he is going to court to review child support they will ask for her income tax returns and they will see he has been overpaying and she's going to end up losing out. With my daughter's bio-dad I had to hear interference from the ex in many ways. I head it when his son came over on weekends and when his daughter (of whom he had custody) went to see her mother on weekends. We seperated early on in my pregnancy and he went back to his ex-wife. She sent me several email throughout my pregnancy...they started out by being nice and offering to "work together" to raise my baby to being called a slut, whore and home wrecker. When it came time to find a name for my daughter my ex told me that he had a name for the baby and I freaked when he told me the name, it was his exes deceased daughters name!!!! When I confronted him about it he told me that his ex-wife had suggested the name since she should be the one having his baby and that she would wind up raising the "whore's baby". After that I received a threatening email from her (both on my work and personal email) saying that she would have me set up for drugs, beaten up and raped and say that I beat her children when I was with her ex-husband and she would have the last laugh and take my bastard away and make sure "it got what it deserved". That is when I got a lawyer and filled cease and desist order against her and my ex (since he had to have given her my email addresses). She actually had the nerve to come to the hospital when I was labour and she tried to barge her way into my labour and delivery room saying that I was a surrogate mom who had changed her mind about giving up the baby!!!! So I KNOW about crazy exes. So whatever you do make sure you follow the proper legal channels to protect yourself, hubby and family. Unfortunately this woman will always be in your lives since she is the biological mother of your husbands is unfortunate but some people just cannot move on and unfortunately she seems to be one of these people. Stay strong and good luck.


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Tee - posted on 05/05/2009




WOW!!! I'm glad to see that I am not the only one dealing with a crazy ex wife. I am sorry that you had to go through all of that.

My husband and I had a beautiful wedding in Jamaica. She didn't want the kids to go and would not sign off on the passport. My husband had to retain an attorney just to get her to sign off on it. She was so upset about this that she told the children that she was going to surprise us and show up at our wedding in Jamaica!! WTH!!!! While we were in Jamaica she left messages saying that she didn't know when we were bringing the kids back and that we kidnapped them and how she was going to retain an attorney in Jamaica to get them back. Just craziness!!! Pure craziness!!!!

Then we bought a vacation home in Pennsylvania and she forbids the kids to visit us when we go. She is now telling the kids that she is buying her a home in Pennsylvania.

Emily - posted on 05/05/2009




If he is filing a motion make sure he keeps any horrible voicemails and texts. (I am sure you know) but he needs as much proof as yall can get. Unfortunately men like your husband who try to do good have to fight the stereotype. Its awful, good luck I hope all goes well, what these crazy ex's don't know is it hurts the children in the long run.

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