[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )
Good morning, afternoon, evening, dearest moms, grand moms, sisters, everyone,
please help me understand the situation. Let me start by saying I wasn't born in US. I've been here for 16 years since I was 24, but I still struggle with some cultural differences, still learning, and will probably always be!
I have been married for 16 years, my husband is a wonderful man, who loves me and i love him, we have a daughter who is 10. My mother-in-law passed away 6 years ago. She had 3 grandchildren - 2 teen grandsons and 1 granddaughter. Like most of the women, she had some jewelry, that she liked talking about. She really liked talking about her jewelry and I remember her saying to me before i married her son: "If you and my son have a daughter, my jewelry will go to her after i die. If you don't, it will go to my niece - i want my jewelry to stay in the family." That statement made me feel uncomfortable to say the least - i never wanted her jewelry, but why telling me who is part of the family and who isn't, particularly before the wedding. Time passed, she passed away. One day her widowed husband, my father-in-law, joined us for dinner and asked if he could give my daughter a jewelry box that was left from his wife. I had a thought running through my brain that he was offering an empty jewelry box to his granddaughter but dismissed it as my misunderstanding of cultural differences and how people express their thoughts. Later on, after he father-in-law left, my husband came to me and said: "Just to be clear, dad was offering an empty jewelry box." I was stunned. So I was not hearing things and had no reason to blame the cultural differences. He really was going to give his grad daughter an empty jewelry box from her passed away grand mother. I should mention that my mother-in-law was promising her jewelry to many people when she was alive - even to her grandsons so they could "give her engagement rings to their future wives" (her quote apparently). I know the boys did not inherit her jewelry as their dad who is my husband's brother, what trying to inquire if my daughter received any of her grandmother's jewelry.
Please help me understand this situation - is this kind of situation normal in American society? I am feeling insulted that my daughter is receiving an empty jewelry box from her dead grandmother - there was no expectation of anything, I don't even know what happened to that jewelry, nor do I care, but an empty jewelry box to a granddaughter, really? My daughter is 10 now, I am sure i will get a question later on what happened to the contents of the box, what shall i tell her? Do i have the reason to be upset with this, or this is quite normal for American grandmothers. I feel this is a very very strange situation.
Thank you for your time and any advice, explanation you can offer me.