curfew

Monique - posted on 04/19/2015 ( 16 moms have responded )

15

0

4

I'm not sure what time I should make my 11 year old daughter come in the house if she's just playing outside with her friends?

16 Comments

View replies by

Monique - posted on 04/19/2015

15

0

4

Thank you so much guys for such positive feedback, it really helps me out with my parenting skills. I guess when you're brought up a certain way you sometimes tend to carry on how you were raised. I just remember when I was younger, there were no boundaries set. I could stay out til about 11 o'clock at night or later and my mom never really made time a big deal. I'll never forget me and a few friends snuck off the block one night trying to catch the arcade before they closed, by the time we got around the corner there was a police officer telling us he was taking us to the police station for curfew, boy oh boy we were so frantic, we were finger printed and everything but guess what, that was the last time we ever did that. We stayed on the block, and on the porch from that day forth and if we saw a police car riding down the block when we knew we wasn't supposed to be outside. We would run in the house.

Sarah - posted on 04/19/2015

8,728

0

21

We live on a cul-de-sac that has 13 houses and a whopping 23 kids aged 5-18, with most being between 10-13. In the summer it is like a circus, but unless one family is having a bonfire or parents are sitting out enjoying the evening, the kids all disappear by dark. In the summer that is 9, and in the winter %:30 (thanks to daylight savings time). The city I live in has a curfew as well; kids under 18 cannot be out and about after 10 pm, unless they have a job.

Ledia - posted on 04/19/2015

204

0

1

We all screw up--I know I've done my fair share!
To make it easier on her, make sure she has a good reason to come in. If you call her in, and all she has to do is watch TV or play video games by herself, she will be resentful that you called her in early--she won't understand why you did it, even if you talk until you are blue in the face. When you call her in, do something fun with her first--play a board game or video game with her, or watch a TV show that you both might enjoy together, then have her complete a list of before bedtime chores.

This is our schedule, My son gets home from school about 3:15 and does homework until 4:30 or 5pm. He can then play until dinner is ready--usually 6-6:30pm. After dinner, we go to guitar or baseball practice, do something together as a family (like a walk or bike ride, board game, whatever) or, if he is behind on homework or struggling with a subject at school, a little extra study. At 8:30 or 9pm, he showers, packs his lunch for the next day, and makes sure he has everything he will need tomorrow, set out, packed up, and organized. By 9:30, he is ready for bed. He knows that if he stays out playing too late, that it will throw off the whole evening and everyone will be stressed out and in a bad mood, plus, it is likely he will forget something he needs for the next day.

Monique - posted on 04/19/2015

15

0

4

Thank you I really appreciate you for what you have said. Have a blessed day! I really needed your honesty.

Ev - posted on 04/19/2015

7,252

7

909

I am not trying to make you feel like a bad parent or mother but our children need boundaries and rules to live by. Its our job to make sure they grow up and can be good members of society and citizens. If we allow our children run of things then that is what they will grow up knowing how to do and the world just does not work that way. My own kids have given me issues at times but I held my ground and choices that I thought were best for them at the time. They are not both productive adults.

Monique - posted on 04/19/2015

15

0

4

Well thank you so very much. I will definitely have to make some major changes. I've let this go on for too long. I feel like such an awful parent, that's why I've joined this circle of mom's for help because I think I've been being defeated for so long now.

Ev - posted on 04/19/2015

7,252

7

909

You have been allowing her the run of the area you live in? Not having her come home at a descent time frame? Its not safe for her to be allowed to run. She is your child and you have played the laid back parent for quite some time it will either work over time or she will run you over. You need to be a parent not a best friend to your kids and make the rules and stand by the consequences for those rules.

Monique - posted on 04/19/2015

15

0

4

Thank you so much for your opinion, so now I have to make some big changes that my daughter's not going to like. I'm so used to being the easy going mom, so I guess it's going to take a lot for me to even make her come in earlier since I've been doing this for so long.

Ledia - posted on 04/19/2015

204

0

1

My son is 10, so kind of close. Our rule is Dinner time. Before dinner is for play, after dinner is for family. We usually eat dinner about 6pm.
10pm is insane for that age, imo... My son's bedtime is 9:30 on weekdays, and 10pm on weekends IF we do not have anything important going on. If I let him play until 10pm, he'd not be in bed until 11pm at the earliest, and be a mess the next day. Letting bedtime vary too much on the weekends can lead to disruption in sleep patterns that can affect the child during the work week, so we try to keep it consistent on weekends and weekdays.

Ev - posted on 04/19/2015

7,252

7

909

Children of this age do not need to be out from their homes after dark or dusk. They should have had plenty of time with friends on the weekend during the day to play and do other things. At home on the porch would be fine as long as an adult is nearby. I did not say she had to be in bed at that time. She needs to be at home. On school nights I would say by 6 pm would be good unless its dark before that so she can spend time with family, do homework, and get ready for school the next day. There is no need for kids to be running all over at night anyhow because they can get in trouble.

Monique - posted on 04/19/2015

15

0

4

I just thought if she was sitting on the front steps or sitting just next door at my neighbors house. I thought it was ok.

Ev - posted on 04/19/2015

7,252

7

909

Yes, it is too late for her to be out running with friends...where do you get the idea its safe for her to do this late night thing. My kids were in the house by dark at eleven. But because of where we live and so on staying out late on weekends was not much of an option because parents had to come and get or take the kids to their friends houses.

Ev - posted on 04/19/2015

7,252

7

909

Dusk or just before dark. If not that set a time when its getting close to dark.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms