[deleted account] ( 16 moms have responded )
My son is about to finish his first year of college. He has been away. The Fall semester was extremely rocky. We had some major disagreements, which resulted in little to no communication between us, and no support from me. During that time, he came home twice, but he didn't talk to me or live with me; he lived with his girlfriend. Towards Xmas break we started to communicate and tried to find some healthy boundaries. For the most part, things worked out, but there still were some rocky areas, especially as it pertains to him living with the girlfriend. Since Xmas break we have been talking more and things have improved a great deal in just a month. He has decided to come home to my house over Spring Break and ultimately Summer. There is no more talk of him not coming to my house. While I'm very happy to have him home (for real), I don't know how to handle when he comes in the house. In high school, he had a 1am curfew, but that was abandoned the summer before he left for college. He's been living in the house with his 17 year old girlfriend; yes, her mother allowed it. I never agreed with that and I surely don't want him sleeping there. The girlfriend is pressuring him to live at her house, crying and begging. I don't mind him having her in his life if that is what he chooses, but I don't agree that he spend the night with her OR come in my house at late as 4 or 5am in the morning. What can I do? How can I communicate to him that 4/5am is not respectful without seeming as if I'm controlling him??