Curious how other moms feel about 1 child or multiple?

Lindsay - posted on 07/19/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I am a first time mother to a beautiful 4 month old girl, and my husband & I have started to wonder if we should have a second or stick with one. We always assumed we would have 2, btut more recently I have begun to feel like the second would not be for us, but our daughter & because society seems to expect a complete family to have 2 children. I was an only child most of my life & my hubby had 1 brother. Both of us had a great upbringing. Just hoping for opinions!

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Jaime - posted on 07/24/2012

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I have one son and I am happy with my decision to stay at that number. If you are undecided at the moment, give it a year or two and reevaluate your life/situation. If you're content with one child and see no reason for another, then stick to that but if you have doubts and think you might want another child, work towards that slowly. Right now just enjoy the one you've got and try not to worry too much about the future :)

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/24/2012

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Sarah, please don't take this wrong, but at 3 years old, you have your child in swimming, tae kwon do, AND violin? AND have him being tutored in "basic subjects"??? He's 3!!! For heaven's sake, let the boy have a childhood!

Yes, my kids have done soccer, football, wrestling, orchestra as well, but each in its own time, each as it became age appropriate, and only for as long as they wanted to continue. Granted, my youngest is not in orchestra this year, and I'll be paying for individual lessons for him, but again, his choice, not something i've forced.

In my most humble opinion, that's another good reason to have more than one...you don't spend all of your time "doting" and pushing kids beyond their age limits.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/24/2012

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Liz, you don't sound selfish, you sound practical.

Does it make me really strange that I thought about what OUR needs as their elderly parents would be and did have that as a factor in my decision for more than one?

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/24/2012

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Basically, each to their own. We went with the "one parent per child" rule...LOL...simply because my family had 3, and no matter how hard my parents tried, one always felt left out, activity wise. But, I personally feel that two is a perfect number.

If both kids had something going on the same night, but in different places, they still each got a parent in attendance. If both kids had separate field trips, each still had a parent that could go. If one had a bday party invite, there was always an extra parent to keep the other occupied.

Plus, with 2, I know that my boys will always have each other. Yes, with more, they all have each other, but with 1, as they get older, as WE get older, and our physical care for them becomes less, and their physical care for our needs as elderly parents, there's only one to take that burden. With 2, they will share that as well...even though my dotage is a long way off yet.

Ultimately, go with your hearts!

User - posted on 07/24/2012

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Wow, i think 1 is the magic number, you can spend more time on them. And dont forget the cost of college, my husband and i have already started saving. Clubs they want to join, my son does teakwando, swimming, violin, he has a tutor as well for some basic subjects (hes 3). He has a best friend who i homeschool with him so he sees him 4days a week. As long as you find her good friends no problem. I wouldn't dream of having more.



I dont know what the future holds but im sure by the time i die my son will have a family of his own. And as for him having to take care of me, id go to a nursing home first (yes i've seen nursing homes).

Liz - posted on 07/19/2012

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From personal experience being an only child, I am against only having one. I know there are some who only CAN have one, or who choose to have only one, and that's fine but I knew it was not for me. I never had to share my toys, I never had to share my parents, I never had to sacrifice my time for a sibling. I didn't have to be responsible for anyone else; I could do what I wanted, when I wanted to. I could get away with things because I didn't have a sibling to rat me out or hold me accountable. Now that I am grown, I have begun thinking about what is going to happen when my parents are too old to take care of themselves. All of that responsibility falls on me. (I don't want to sound selfish here, they are my parents and I love them and will do anything to help them, I just wish I had someone to share in that responsibility, so we could lean on each other.)

Sarah - posted on 07/19/2012

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Personally I don't agree with only one child in a family if you can have more than one. Of course, it's everyone's own decision, and I can respect people's decisions, but I do think about the child growing up with no sibling relationship, how they're going to feel one day when their parents are gone and they're all alone, their kids with no cousins or aunts and uncles, etc. I guess it's just more of a family centered place I'm coming from.

S. - posted on 07/19/2012

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I really do believe it is each for there own on something like this. I personally never wanted just one child as I grew up with two older sisters and without them sometimes I don't know what I would have done. I had my oldest daughter then i split from her father it was me and her for 9 years and we were very happy, cutting a long story short I met my husband and had two other children, with a 2 years and 10 month age gap between them. All my girls are really close But i was just as happy with one child then as I am with my 3 now. But now I wouldn't change a single thing! Fallow your heart!

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