Custody

Katrina - posted on 06/04/2016 ( 28 moms have responded )

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What happens if the parent takes the child out of state without permission before a custody hearing

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Sarah - posted on 06/05/2016

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Text him, and email him asking to speak to the child. Keep your phone record of every call you make to his number. Parental alienation is not a good way to win over a judge.

Sarah - posted on 06/05/2016

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I'd try to reason with him. That would be best for your child. In the meantime, document every conversation in a journal. communicate via text or email as much as possible. While it may be LEGAL for him to take the child; a judge will not look favorably upon his refusal to return her to you.

Ev - posted on 06/05/2016

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If there are no court orders in place for custody and visitation, then yes you might have to do so.

Ev - posted on 06/05/2016

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So then custody and visitation are not yet sorted?
And if he lives over the state line and so on it might not be looked on as not allowed. I have a friend whose kids' dad lived across the state line and she was fine with him taking them to his home and the area around where he lived but it was just the fact that he had to follow court orders to take them out of state like to Florida the one time he never told her that he was doing.

Sarah - posted on 06/04/2016

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Are you worried he is going to take her and never return? If he agreed to mediation, her must want to work with you not against you. Every state has different laws but you are both parents equally; married or not with the same obligations and entitlements to parent and support her.

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Katrina - posted on 06/05/2016

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Thank you..I am keeping records of everything since he picked her from school...It's just sad how a parent can be so cruel! He doesnt realize all these things will be held against him

Katrina - posted on 06/05/2016

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Thank you! I have been documenting everything and I also communicate via text but I did call today to speak with my daughter and I got no answer,I haven't talk to her in 2 days

Katrina - posted on 06/05/2016

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We never had issues about visitation...I never denied him seeing our child,as parents we just agreed on every other weekend because we both work during the week...

Katrina - posted on 06/05/2016

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His name is on the school contact and pick up list we NEVER had these problems until now! We both agreed that our child stay with him every other weekend and yes he lives in another state and our child stays at his house but this wasn't his weekend to have her and No he didn't bring her home yet.When I talked to him I asked when would he be bringing her home his response was whenever he decides to.I just recently recieved the papework to appear in court.I just wanted to know if he was allowed to take her out of state before our hearing,if I confused you I apologize

Sarah - posted on 06/05/2016

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Something is not adding up. I am a school nurse and when I have a sick kid, and have to call a parent to pick up said kid, I have to pull their records to find out who can remove the child from school. Every school has a section in enrollment paperwork where you lay out if you are married, single, separated, widowed or divorced; that same section asks if you are divorced, who is the custodial parent, does the non custodial parent have authority to pickup the child etc. We have had non-custodial parents show up more than once trying to see or even collect their kids. This is a serious issue for all the schools I know. Even my kids who go to a small Catholic school have the same sort of forms. We check and double check before we hand a child over.
What I don't get is if he lives in a different state, don't the kids go see him there anyway? Or does he have to come stay in your state to visit. Did he return the child? If he did, I have no idea why you are upset. Why would you try to use him actively parenting against him?

Katrina - posted on 06/04/2016

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When I recieved the paperwork it just stated we had a mediation hearing I didn't file he did

Ev - posted on 06/04/2016

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All you can get here is to talk to a lawyer. We do not know the laws where you live and also depending on some states just because a child lives with one parent the majority of time does not make that parent the one with full custody legally. So basically if there is no temp orders from court on who has primary custody of the child, then both are able to take the child. And since there are two states involved you have more on your plate to deal with.

Ev - posted on 06/04/2016

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If you had temp custody, then there would have been some sort of orders for visitation etc on that too.

Katrina - posted on 06/04/2016

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I was served the papers it has nothing stating a temp order! Monday I will call to speak with someone concerning the situation...just thought I could get some insight from this group

Ev - posted on 06/04/2016

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There is something here that is not adding up. If he could not take the child out of state, then how is it he has done so and nothing has been done. What do your temp orders say?

Katrina - posted on 06/04/2016

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I figured something could be done about him taking our child without my permission,we don't live in the same state

Sarah - posted on 06/04/2016

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You figure you could do what? Send the child to camp? That is not unreasonable. He has already traveled with the child? Do you two not live in the same state presently?

Katrina - posted on 06/04/2016

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I just figured it was something I could do since he took our child out of school and out of state without my permission

Katrina - posted on 06/04/2016

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Yes because I told him our child has been selected to be in a summer program for 7 weeks and he stated our child can go to summer camp where he lives! I also told him our child has a summer project due the first day of school and he never responded!

Katrina - posted on 06/04/2016

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When he filed the paperwork stated he didn't request an attorney so I was just assuming we would come to an agreement as to when he would see our child

Katrina - posted on 06/04/2016

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Although we never had issues with him seeing our child he still filed against me! So since he filed is he entitled to take her without my permission to another state? We never been married I assumed I had custody until a decision was made

Sarah - posted on 06/04/2016

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There still should be a temporary order, to cover you until mediation and finalization of custody. When the judge ordered mediation, or your attorney agreed to mediation, a temporary custody and visitation should have been entered.

Dove - posted on 06/04/2016

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Is there a temporary order in place? As soon as my ex filed there was a temporary order that neither of us was allowed to take the kids out of the county until the hearing.

Talking to a lawyer is your best course of action though.

Michelle - posted on 06/04/2016

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You'll need to speak to your lawyer about what you can do where you live. Being an international site there will be a lot of different advice but your lawyer is the best as they know your laws.

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