Custody

Kaylee - posted on 08/08/2013 ( 19 moms have responded )

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I had my son 2 and a half years ago now his ather is on birth certificate and my son has his last name, I left his father when my son was 2months old due to a lot of cheating on his behalf his father since then has walked in n out of his life 4 times now never paid maitinance for him and refuses to be a full dad and take responsibility for his iv always left my door open as I want my son to have a dad now iv realised its not fair on my child for him to come and go and I won't tolerate it any more I have recently been assaulted by my child's dads mother I front of my son it was logged to the police and she admitted it .... How do I get full custody and a residency order ?

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Judy - posted on 08/13/2013

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Go get a protection order if you don't already have one. In Florida where i am from unfortunately if you are not married no one has legal custody. Go to city hall and file for custody take any paperwork u have on assaults if you filed any. Keep records (written or otherwise) of anything your x does or says .also file for child support including back support you are entitled to all of it( for any of the time your child was with you. If you have a stable income and safe environment (home) for your son but you need not hesitate any longer

Dana - posted on 08/12/2013

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1st go to the police and get a copy of the report against his mother... take that with you to a solicitor and get advice as this can not be allowed to go on

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Jodi - posted on 08/10/2013

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That's not necessarily true in most places Melissa. He is on the birth certificate. In Australia, he would have 50/50 unless there are orders otherwise. So unless you know the law in the UK, you may not be correct. It tends to be that only particularly backward family law systems assume the mother has full custody these days.

Melissa - posted on 08/10/2013

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He will not get custody unless he is able to prove you unfit so dont wry itd be alright(:

Jodi - posted on 08/10/2013

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Kaylee, I am not sure how you go about it in the UK, but the following link may help you make a start:

https://www.gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce/overview

Jodi - posted on 08/10/2013

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LOL Lori, I did do a major in Business Law when I did my Masters degree, so I learned how to read law, but the family law side of things is just the result of experience with the Australian system over the years. I've had to do a lot of my research myself to save on legal fees :D

Lori - posted on 08/10/2013

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I was wondering first of all if Jodi is in the legal profession, lol? You sound like me, as I have been a litigation paralegal in Mass for over 20 years and would ask the same questions. It definitely depends on the State as I also work on cases in New Hampshire two minutes away and their process is different there in certain respects.

Kaylee - What State do you live in? If all you wish is to have a Court issue a visitation order and child support, providing rights of visitation to the father you do not need a lawyer. You can go to your County's Probate and Family Court Clerk's Office, tell them your intentions, fill out the paperwork (Motion for Joint Physical Custody and Motion for Child Support), and file it with the Clerk. A date will be set, the father is served, and the Clerk will provide you with a Financial Affidavit (what you make vs. what you pay out). And most importantly, at least in Mass, Custody and Child Support are not one in the same. There should be Child Support Guidelines in your state which uses a mathematical formula to decide who pays what, regardless of who has the child(ren) more often.,.


Good Luck,


Lori G.

Katrina - posted on 08/10/2013

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I would move away if you can because people like that don't usually stop that kind of behavior. I raised both my kids without a dad and they really don't know the difference. In my case the dads both move to different states but I'm sure glad I don't have to deal with them. Sorry for your troubles and I think the police can issue a no contact order fairly easily. The judge in our town has no tolerance for domestic violence. Don't get set up by them. Hope this helps sorry if not.

Natasha - posted on 08/08/2013

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You can file for sole custody, and him get visitation rights so many times a month for so many hours and he would be mandated to pay child support, or you could get joint custody in which yoy would have the child one week and your ex would have him the next and this way he wouldn't have to pay child support

Jodi - posted on 08/08/2013

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I must admit, I did just reread your post and realised that in 2 years he has only seen him 4 times, not 2 months. My bad.....and my apologies.

Can I clarify? You are wanting to set up primary custody for yourself plus visitation for his dad? What arrangement is currently in place? Do you have a court order at all? Have you ever filed for child support?

Kaylee - posted on 08/08/2013

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I think u missed what I had wrote I never said I'd stop him seeing my son I said I want my son to have a father

Natasha - posted on 08/08/2013

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You would have to get a lawyer, take him to court and file for sole custody of your son, and give them evidence showing that you have always paid for your sons expenses and he's not paid anything, and reasons for not wanting him to have even joint custody, example:no job, violent tendencies, drinking eccessively, drugs etc. As for your ex's mom, you can go to the police station and file a restraining order.

Jodi - posted on 08/08/2013

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It is even less fair on your child for you to remove a father from a child's life. 4 times in 2 months is equivalent to about every other weekend.....which is quite a common custody/visitation arrangement for children. You won't get him removed entirely from your son's life because of that. Both the father and the child have the right to a relationship with each other.

With regard to child support, file for it. This has nothing to do with whether he wants to visit the child, and generally is treated as a separate issue.

A cheating partner does not make a bad father. It just makes him a poor partner in life.

Assault by his MOTHER has nothing to do with the custody situation.

By all means, file for custody, but keep in mind that you need to put some visitation arrangements in place, and you need to accept that this person is your child's father and will be for the rest of your child's life. If he makes the choice not to be a part of his child's life, then he can explain why to his child when the time comes. But if YOU make the choice to cut him out of your child's life, then later, you can explain why you denied your child the right to get to know his father. And most often, when that happens, it isn't pretty.

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