Custody

Michel - posted on 08/28/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I was pregnant met my new boyfriend he knew he wasn't the father, we moved in together . When Landon was born he signed the birth certificate months later he kicked me and my son out, he never helped with my son while we lived together his mother did . I let her continue seeing Landon I went to his attorney signed visitation thinking I was doing the right thing. After that he told me he wanted nothing to do with Landon and don't take him to his mothers anymore so I didn't . Months later he takes me to court the date was cancelled rescheduled for two weeks later, on that day I missed the court time I had it in my head it was same time as two weeks prior, I was wrong I called the courthouse when I realized I had the wrong time they wouldn't put me through to anyone, The judge ordered him full custody I had to take my son and give him to the attorney that night . It was worst thing ever my son is very attached to me and he didn't even know who Ethan was. I got one hour on wensday and one hour on Sundays for visitation, I didn't think I needed an attorney because I had done nothing wrong and I'm the mother and he's not the father also I had no money for the attorney, but because I missed court date I lost full custody, also judge didn't know he wasn't the father. His mother wanted Landon in my opinion that's why he took me to court. Then next court date I had an attorney I paid him 500.00 he went in talked to there attorney came out and told me I get one day a week visitation and didn't order paternity test or fight for anything more. I was very dissapointed I have never been in trouble for anything I just missed the first court date. I want my son every time I leave my son freaks out he wants to go home with me. It kills me every day. So now 90 days before next hearing trying to find attorney who will fight for me and my son. Any help out there , this is an injustice to the fullest.

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Jodi - posted on 08/28/2013

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This is not injustice, it is called karma. This is why it is never recommended to put someone who is NOT the father on the birth certificate. You basically falsified a document and now you are paying the price. I hope this serves as a very strong lesson to anyone else reading this who is thinking of doing the same thing. I am really sorry you are going through this, but you did bring it upon yourself, so to call it injustice is incorrect.

I am not quite understanding why you didn't arrange to order a paternity test?

TIA - posted on 08/28/2013

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DEPENDING ON THE STATES LAWS THERE IS NOT MUCH YOU CAN DO UNTIL THE COURTS REVERSE THE ORDERS. IN MINNESOTA IF A MAN SIGNS THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE HE IS CONSIDERED THE LEGAL FATHER IN ALL ASPECTS INCLUDING CHILD SUPPORT.
IF YOU CAN NOT AFFORD AN ATTORNEY, TALK TO HUMAN SERVICES OR WHAT EVER THE NAME OF WELFARE IS IN YOUR AREA. THEY CAN POINT YOU IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION FOR LEGAL AID.
ALSO YOU CAN REPRESENT YOURSELF. SOME TIPS FOR REPRESENTING YOURSELF ARE:
1. DO NOT WASTE THE JUDGES TIME
2 GET ALL THE FACTS, TIMES DATES, PROOF OF ANYTHING IN ORDER AND CERTIFIED, COPIED OR THE ORIGINALS SUBMITTED TO THE COURT.
3. DO EVERYTHING U CAN TO REMAIN PROFESSIONAL. DO NOT CRY EVER. DON'T INTERRUPT THE JUDGE OR ANYONE ELSE. HE WILL GIVE YOU YOUR CHANCE TO SPEAK.
4. TAKE NOTES OF EVERY ENCOUNTER BETWEEN YOU AND THE FATHER OR HIS ATTORNEY. EVEN THE ENCOUNTERS FROM THE PAST. WRITE DOWN ANYTHING YOU CAN REMEMBER.
5.NEVER MISS ANOTHER COURT DATE.
6. CONSOLIDATE ALL OF YOUR INFORMATION. CREATE VERY DIRECT REQUESTS FOR THE JUDGE. DO NOT FILL HIM IN ON THE EMOTIONAL MUMBO JUMBO BECAUSE IT WASTES HIS TIME.
7 BE PREPARED FOR THE JUDGE TO TELL YOU THAT BECAUSE HE SIGNED THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE THAT THAT MAKES HIM THE FATHER...BIOLOGICAL OR NOT. IT ALL DEPENDS ON YOUR LOCAL LAWS.
8 IN THE UNITED STATES ALL OF THE LAWS ARE OPEN TO THE PUBLIC. YOU CAN FIND THEM IN THE PUBLIC LIBRARY. A GOOD LIBRARIAN CAN HELP YOU LOCATE THE LAWS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR. THEY ARE HARD TO READ THROUGH AND UNDERSTAND, BUT THE INTERNET CAN HELP. USE A DICTIONARY.
9 ALSO BE PREPARED FOR THE JUDGE TO RULE SOMETHING THAT YOU DONT AGREE WITH. EVEN IF IT KILLS YOU ON THE INSIDE, REACTING ON THE OUTSIDE CAN CAUSE YOU AND YOUR CHILD A LOT MORE PROBLEMS. LIKE YOU BEING IN JAIL OR LOSING ALL OF YOUR PARENTAL RIGHTS PERMANENTLY.

YOUR SITUATION WOULD MAKE ANY MOTHER FEEL AN UNMEASURABLE AMOUNT OF PAIN. TALK TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND ASK THEM FOR HELP.

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