Custody.

Victoria - posted on 07/04/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hello mommas!
I was wondering what kind of experiences any of you have had with gaining full custody of your children. I have a two year old daughter, her biological father I swear is certifiably insane. We live in a different state than him, he doesn't pay any child support at all, and so far in almost the entire year we have been here he has not come down to see her once. I've always spent the money to go up there for him to see her. And when we're back here in our home state, he will go days without asking about her and weeks without skyping her. He lives in a house with 7 other people, some of which are "recovering" drug addicts. I was wondering if you mom's think that I have enough to gain full custody? And it's not my goal for her to not know who her father is, I just want to make sure that I have all the parental rights, because I believe with my whole heart that he is not a stable person.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Michelle - posted on 07/04/2015

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Jodi has said most of it.
Unless he is a danger to his child then I highly doubt you will be given full custody. You would also need evidence that he is a danger, not just your say so.
If you want any of your orders revised then you need to go back to court.
Child support and visitation are 2 completely separate issues though. Just because he doesn't have to pay doesn't mean he can't see his child.
You need to have in writing who is to pay what when it comes to him seeing his child. That way if he doesn't sick to his end of the agreement you can let the courts know.

Jodi - posted on 07/04/2015

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Ok, so you have a legal document saying you could move. I was just trying to clarify.

All you can do at this point is follow your court orders. If the court order doesn't say he has to pay child support, then he doesn't have to pay. If you have an issue with it, you will need to get that order revised. With regard to his visitation, there is little you can do - you can't force him. It is highly unlikely the judge will say there should be no visitation, but you could push for supervised if you are concerned and have evidence that this would be better for your child.

Victoria - posted on 07/04/2015

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Well first of all, he gave me permission to move. He signed a paper and everything. So I didn't just up and leave. And the last time we were in court, he got away with paying child support because he said he was going to save to move down here and hasn't done so at all.

Jodi - posted on 07/04/2015

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So, can I just clarify something here? YOU moved away from HIM? Is that correct?

And no, you don't have all the parental rights unless you have a court document saying you do. By all means go for full custody, but he could argue parental alienation on the basis that you moved away and took the child, therefore reducing his ability to develop a relationship with the child. If you believe he is a danger to you child, you need to have solid evidence for that to present to the court. Your "say so" is not enough.

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