Custody and visitation battle

Liyah_lee08 - posted on 08/05/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

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OK so I've been in Virginia for about 3 1/2 years. Me and the father of my children was suppose to move in. He chose to stay in TN and wanted me to come back I told him no that I was trying to have and be better for our kids so I gave him the ultimatum to do right or we will co parent he chose to co parent. I was fine with that started dating the same sex and all hell broke lose. My mom hated it and would call and lie and say I pay more attention to my fiance and I wasn't taken care of home. Mind you I had a job and was going to school and all my time went to my loves when I'm home. He came around Valentine's to try one last time to get me to come back. He saw I was happy with my fiance and decided to play me. I had already told him I was uncomfortable with him taking the kids because he was holding a grudge.my mom convinced me to let him take them and to bring them back before school started. When I asked him what was taking so long to bring them back he replied he wasn't they have been gone for almost two years. My oldest daughter now has behavior problems and I can't hold a job to save my life. I went ahead and started a case while I still had jurisdiction here but he was awarded temporary custody do to him doing the same after He received a letter about it. I'm hurting so badly I just need someone who went through the same to help me out point me in the right direction. I'm just confused I took care of this man and his family and he screwed me and took what was apart of me away and I'm broken.please help!

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Ev - posted on 08/05/2016

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{OK so I've been in Virginia for about 3 1/2 years. Me and the father of my children was suppose to move in. He chose to stay in TN and wanted me to come back I told him no that I was trying to have and be better for our kids so I gave him the ultimatum to do right or we will co parent he chose to co parent.}
-----And so you did not get custody sorted.

{ I was fine with that started dating the same sex and all hell broke lose. My mom hated it and would call and lie and say I pay more attention to my fiance and I wasn't taken care of home. Mind you I had a job and was going to school and all my time went to my loves when I'm home.}
Regardless of who you date or get married to has nothing to do with the custody/visitation situation.

{ He came around Valentine's to try one last time to get me to come back. He saw I was happy with my fiance and decided to play me. I had already told him I was uncomfortable with him taking the kids because he was holding a grudge.my mom convinced me to let him take them and to bring them back before school started. When I asked him what was taking so long to bring them back he replied he wasn't they have been gone for almost two years.
-----Why did you not do something then?

{ My oldest daughter now has behavior problems and I can't hold a job to save my life. I went ahead and started a case while I still had jurisdiction here but he was awarded temporary custody do to him doing the same after He received a letter about it.}
-----I take it he is in another state then? If this is the case then each state has its laws on custody etc. You are going to have to do as Dove suggested and get a lawyer and go to court there to get the custody worked out.

{ I'm hurting so badly I just need someone who went through the same to help me out point me in the right direction. I'm just confused I took care of this man and his family and he screwed me and took what was apart of me away and I'm broken.please help!}
-----It is not the end of the world. If you become the non-custodial parent you will make it through all this. I have been there and done that. It was not easy but I learned about myself and what I needed to do to be the best parent I could for my kids. It is not about you or him who has the kids but their best interests.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/05/2016

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OK...so...no custody orders were filed to begin with, obviously, so either of you could have filed. He, having physical custody at the time, had just as much right to file custody as you did, and still do. There's no reason you cannot work out an agreement.

However, what do you mean when you state you were "trying to behave and be better for your kids"? Are you a recovering addict, or have other problems? I ask because you're blaming your inability to keep a job on not having your kids, but not having a steady source of income will most definitely not help your custody case.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/06/2016

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Jasmine, I'm glad to hear that you weren't involved in drugs or alcohol, and I appreciate you not being offended at the question.

You probably are suffering from depression, and it's OK to accept that, and treat it. I had some issues awhile back with depression, and thought it was "just me", but found out that I did feel better, and function better once I was treating it.

As far as court, is he also continuing to pursue this on his end? Have there been court dates on his end? You may need to bite the bullet and respond to the petition in his jurisdiction initially.

Liyah_lee08 - posted on 08/06/2016

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I filed right after he told me he wasn't giving them back.I've been to more than four court dates he was suppose to be expedited here due to failure to appear in court. No I'm not on drugs never have been nor drinking problems. The area that we lived in was a tough one and him being involved in certain bad things took it's toll on me and my kids. My inability to keep a job is well my fault I blame know one for that but me my doctor says it's depression I say it's just me. It's not in their best interest to be with a dad that slanders my name, lies about what he does with the money I send for the kids, and isn't finally stable himself with more than 8mouths to feed and 10 if you include his biological kids. I appreciate the advice and constructive criticism ladies.

Dove - posted on 08/05/2016

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Unfortunately all you can do is have a lawyer go through court. Do you currently have visitation rights?

I know it's too late now, but this is why I am always saying on here for people to GET custody/visitation orders immediately... because w/out them you are powerless and it's the kids that suffer most when one parent decides to do something like what your ex has done.

Good luck!

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