Custody Arrangement Issues

Mom - posted on 09/23/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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We have just recently finalized our custody arrangement for our daughter, designating joint custody between the two of us and me (her mother), primary residential. Her father now works out of town during the week and for 2-3 days of the four day access period he has with her, he is barely home. He has her step mother pick her up from school while he will generally get home after she's already in bed for the night and then head off to work before she wakes up, so she doesn't see him at all. I think this is wrong but the 'right to first refusal' rule in the order is not specific enough to allow her to come back home. I am stressed and I do not know what to do. Any help or advise would be greatly appreciated.

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Ev - posted on 09/23/2013

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I have to agree with Jodi on this one. You should have added that right to first refusal set up so that if he is not with her she comes home. But you got to understand, that no matter his work schedule, it is his time and he can refuse to agree to this. Are you not comfortable with the step mom? I honestly have to say that in my situation I had to do custody opposite of yours because I could not fight the battle of custody in court and I knew he would take it back in a few months to get the kids from me. So for their peace of mind, I let them go live with him. I did not like any of it and I did not want to do it, but it was for their best interest. So every weekend, holiday, and extra time I got, I took it. And during all this time, they have had 2 step moms. Neither step mom wanted much to do with me but they lived with my kids and they were in essence taking care of them. So even if it was his weekend to have them, if he is not home but working, I can not go and complain about it and say they should be with me. Now if it was a girlfriend, I would complain. Be glad he is working this hard to provide for her and wants to have her at his home. He might not be there because of work but at least your little one has what she needs as well. What time he does get can be just as quality as if he was with her all the time she was there.

Jodi - posted on 09/23/2013

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The best you can do is go back to court. Is your daughter unhappy with this arrangement, or just you?

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