Custody Battle

Eileen - posted on 06/22/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hello I have been in a custody battle for my son for almost 2 years now. I see him in person at the most twice a year for a few hours. I try to talk to him over the phone everyday and I'm lucky if I get picture or a video chat with him. I've never done anything for the judge to rule me out for partial custody but his father tricked me and has had him longer and was given primary and he is unfit for primary. There is way more to the story if anyone is interested and has some advice. Oh and yeah I can't afford an attorney and haven't found a public one that will take a custody case.

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Raye - posted on 06/23/2015

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Notarized statements are not always admissible in court, and the cops won't help if there's no court order. If you have court orders that you have visitation rights, and the father is violating those orders by keeping the child from you on your appointed days/times, the police may or may not get involved depending on your area, but you would have a valid reason to go back to court for him being in contempt. As far as the finances go, it may not matter that your ex doesn't have a job as long as the bills are getting paid and there's no immediate danger to the child. Just because you don't like his living arrangements doesn't mean they're inadequate. If they were inadequate, then the judge should consider any proof provided that showed those conditions.

You may want to try to request a new judge. If you have "partial custody", whatever that means, then you should be seeing your child more than a few hours twice a year. And the judge should consider any contempt of court, such as moving without notice. The judge should not act "bored with you" unless you keep going in with groundless claims.

Eileen - posted on 06/23/2015

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Raye Ramsey-
I was given partial custody only because his father has had him longer. He was supposed to only go to his father for a one month visit before a court custody agreement was in order. We made a notarized agreement that he insisted would be enough and I was young and naive and believed him. Well that one month visit turned into "Im not bringing him back" I went to get my son myself, his father physically would not let me leave the house with my son and the cops wouldn't come out to help when I called. I then had to file for custody, it took some time for everything to get set and the judge saw he has had our son longer and gave him primary. His father can not hold down a job and relies on his grandmother for financial support and moves around a lot. His daughter isn't in school on school days, and my son doesn't have a primary care Dr because his father doesn't think it's necessary for our son to see a Dr. I have evidence on some of these and the others are not accusations, just something I can't get hard, visible evidence on so I have to request and investigation. I've even had to take him to court for contempt of custody because he moved without giving the court or me any notice until after he had moved. He was require to give 60 days notice. His excuse for the judge was that "it slipped his mind" and he was let off the hook. The judge acts bored with me every time I make a statement.

Raye - posted on 06/23/2015

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If there is no reason for you to be denied visitation, then the judge would have granted it to you. What do the custody orders say about visitation? If you were given visitation rights and the father is not allowing visits, then you need to documents every time he refuses and present it to the judge as parental alienation. If you weren't given visitation, then the father does not have to allow it out of the goodness of his heart.

How were you tricked? Unfortunately, you probably need a lawyer to help you out of whatever mess you're in. You either find a way to afford one, or you do a shitload of research online, in libraries, etc., to assist your case.

How is he unfit to have primary custody? If you can prove he is unfit, then present the evidence to the judge. You have to have proof. You can't just go in making wild accusations. If you presented evidence and it was dismissed or inadequate, then you need new evidence of something that is actionable.

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