custody battle please help

Cassandra Diane - posted on 11/08/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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my step son is caught in the middle of a bad custody battle. His father and i have won temporary sole custody for now. we just had to file contempt charges on her for not sticking to the agreement for separated or divorced parents issued in court. the court date is on dec.4 at 9 am.
he is doing k12 for schooling and since we got temp sole custody with week on week off visitation his schooling is not being done on her week to have him. they have went out and bought him a new xbox ds and playstation thing. he has came back talking about how he wants to go back there because they have fun there and she just gives him the answers to his school work and that they dont do it like it needs to be done. they are not meeting the required 65 hours a day 30 hours a week like he has to on her week. this has become a really big issue. it is very stressful and im not sure how much longer i can handle this to be honest. my question is with him refusing to do his school work because he is wanting to go back to his mothers to play and what not and her not doing the schooling like need be and giving him the answers which has caused really big problems for us and i mean big problems. what can we do legally with us already having filed contempt charges and having a court date on the 4 of next month? what can we do to get an emergency court date set for sooner? anything at all will help. thankyou so much for taking the time to read this,
cassandra

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Dove - posted on 11/08/2013

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Yep, sounds like that's exactly what she's doing.

Why are you dealing w/ her though and not his father? Granted... I get that you are trying to be helpful and work w/ her for the sake of the boy and that's awesome... but if SHE won't work w/ YOU... it only serves to make things harder on the kid if you are continuing to try and communicate w/ her.

This isn't YOUR court battle. No matter how much you love and want to help your stepmom... The court thing is and should be between the bio parents.

If he's old enough to be thinking of college... he's old enough to take accountability for what schooling he does or does not do at his mom's house. Flat out tell him that if he doesn't do the work and do it well... he could completely RUIN his chance at a successful future w/ a decent job.

Cassandra Diane - posted on 11/08/2013

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i have everything documented from January 18th till now. ive got my bases covered. its just waiting till the court date and wishing it could be so much sooner.im tired of fighting all the time and even when im peaceful and nice to this lady she has to come back every time with hateful comments. ive even asked her to be civil and cooperate for the childs sake and she twists it saying i was using him against her.
the chore thing i have not yet tried. i think i will give that a shot. he knows his education is important and so is college he wants all that but its because she does little to nothing in schooling on her week that when he comes back here he feels it should be the same its almost like she is trying to buy his love.

Dove - posted on 11/08/2013

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So then he just sits there for the next two weeks that you guys have him until court.. or maybe he would like doing his school work more than doing chores all day? ;)

I totally get not being able to afford a lawyer, but you might need one in order to get things changed. Hopefully not though. Just keep documenting everything and be patient.

Cassandra Diane - posted on 11/08/2013

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His dad is pro se. If we got a lawyer we would be taking money from our kids and we cant do that. He sat and did nothing all day yesterday and it didnt bother him. He would rather just sit there then do his school work since he has started visitation with his bio mom. She has bought him all that stuff and now thats all he wants to do. Im so tired and I dont know what to do. This lady is a lier and has been caught in lies by the judge and her lawyer and still tries to lie. She is gone most of the visitation time with her son to be with her boyfriend and her mom does most of what sge can with her son.

Dove - posted on 11/08/2013

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OK... I'm sure the 65 hours a day is a typo since a day only has 24 hours in it... lol ;)... but, 30 hours/week? That's more time in school than any of my kids spend... and that's not just instructional time... that's the entire school day w/ lunch and recess, etc... If he doesn't want to do the school work at your house... he can sit his butt on his bed all day and read until he WILL do school work. Nothing else except eating and using the bathroom. He should get bored enough to do the work eventually... and he 'should' be able to do two weeks worth of work in one once he gets his butt in gear.

As for moving up the court date... unless his life is in danger your chances of that are pretty nonexistent, but his father can go ahead and talk to his lawyer to check.

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