custody battle when my fiancé is in the military and not bio-dad..?

MyKayla - posted on 09/01/2015 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I'm currently going through a custody battle with my son's biological father. My fiancé is active duty in the army and I'd like to know when we are married is it likely that I'd be able to move with him and keep custody of my son ? His bio father currently has visitation only.. help I'm panicking !
-Minnesota

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DeOndra - posted on 09/04/2015

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Hi MyKayla. I'm going through the exact same issue. I'm married to my spouse who is active duty military, but one of my children is not his. We've been stationed to Ft Lewis WA, but I had to stay with my son in NC because I'm not allow to take him out if the state of NC and the father won't agree. He uses my child to hurt me, I don't know why. But right now I'm just waiting on a trial date. But they are right you have to prove to the courts why it is in the BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD to relocate. If u say because you just got married that's not enough. It's about the best interest of the child. So u have to prove why it is better for the child. Hope this helps

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MyKayla - posted on 09/05/2015

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Thank you DeOndra... that was very helpful. It's nice to hear from someone going through it. I just wanted to know the likelihood of leaving . I don't think one weak factor should manipulate my son's whole life.

Jodi - posted on 09/02/2015

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What we are saying is that you can't just up and move. You have to go through legal channels to do it. Talk to a lawyer about this.

If he doesn't pay child support, then file for it - that is a totally separate issue and has no bearing on whether he has visitation rights at all.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/02/2015

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Getting a lawyer that understands the laws in your area, and can thoroughly research the laws in other states, will be the most beneficial to you. Remarrying does not take away biological rights. Please investigate further with a trained lawyer by your side. Also, you may want to find out if you will have to move regularly due to his active duty. That could complicate matters.

MyKayla - posted on 09/02/2015

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Well he visits once sometimes twice a month and pays no child support , does not help much. And I was wondering why not if there's alot of setups where one parent is in another state? That's how I was raised so I was trying to figure out what the "rules" are. I mean I wouldn't be cutting him out his time would just be set up a different.

Michelle - posted on 09/02/2015

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I agree with Jodi, just because you are going to marry someone else doesn't mean you can just move away and deny your child a relationship with his Father.
You'll need to get a lawyer and see if you can come to an agreement. If you can't then a judge will decide for you.
Be prepared for the Father to fight for his rights though as he is more than entitled to.

Jodi - posted on 09/02/2015

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Maybe, maybe not. How much visitation does the bio father have? Part of the decision will be around what can be done for your son to maintain an active relationship with his biological father. You can't just decide to up and move away, cutting him off. You have to come up with a reasonable solution to be able to maintain that relationship AND demonstrate it is in the best interests of the child so the courts will approve the move. Do you have a lawyer?

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