Custody battle with uninvolved out of state father

April - posted on 10/06/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I am currently going through custody issues with my husband ( soon to be ex hopefully) He lives over four hours away in another state and has been in and out of my childs life since she was one year old. He left after her first birthday and was in and out for 2 years. Then we decided to work things out for 3 years and he left again. For the last year and a half he has seen her only 3 times and only contacted her 4 times since January. He has moved in with a woman and gotten her pregnant and suddenly wants the entire summer and all school breaks. His girlfriend has had her children taken away twice for neglect. I am concerned how this would affect my daughter who has no bond with her father and has never been away from me.He always acted like my daughter was a burden rather than a gift and he never wanted this time until i took him to court for child support. I am seeking advice from anyone who has had a similar situation or has had an out of state co parenting situation. I feel he is trying to leave me all of the responsibility of parenting and taking away all of the quality time. Please help!

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April - posted on 10/06/2014

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Yes I have kept records and do have a lawyer. This is the second one I have hired and have already spent 7,000 dollars. My lawyer says I have a good case but he is always so busy I dont get to speak to him often. In your case does your son have to go there for the entire summer? I live in Tennessee , my ex lives in Kentucky

Jodi - posted on 10/06/2014

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I agree with Dove, he will probably get at least half of the school breaks. It isn't fair that he gets all of them, but it will depend on where you live as to whether this will happen. This is a good compromise that you could propose. Do you have a lawyer?

Make sure you have his contacts with your daughter documented. Have you kept any sort of diary? Have any sort of evidence at all?

My son was a little older when his dad moved interstate, but his dad had one week over each of the school breaks, AND he had to pay the costs of getting him there (it was a flight away, not a drive).

Dove - posted on 10/06/2014

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In most situations he will legally be entitled to at least half of all school breaks... possibly more, possibly less. It depends on your lawyer and the judge.

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