Crissy - posted on 03/20/2011 ( 16 moms have responded )
My Son is Four, Suffers from ADHD, Autism and possible Oppositional Defiancy Syndrom. His Father lives in another country with his immediate family and has wanted full-custody since our divorce.
Since returning to my home country to be supported by friends and family I must admit things have not been easy both emotionally and finacially.
I love my son dearly however find myself becoming more and more frustrated trying to cope with his behavioral issues. I feel like Im constantly scolding him and avoid everything except parks fearing his behavioral issues will get out of hand. Part of me often wonders "Does he act like this because I'm doing something wrong".
I feel that my behavioral management cannot be healthy for my son being that I'm often frustrated and my son is often "Out of Control". Time outs don't work, taking toys don't work and yelling and screaming gets me absolutely no where. My sons day care can't control him. They are at there wits end and have now started calling me to come get him even though he has an early intervention worker working with him for 6 hours a day... I don't know what I'm doing wrong or what to do to correct his behavior.
I'm worried that if my son stays in my care his life will have no quality being that I can't control his behaviors and being that I'm hitting exuastion levels trying to cope as best I can with limited support from friends and family.
I'm damned if I do send him, knowing I will feel guilty resenting myself for missing out on my sons upbringing being that he will be living across the world and I will be limited on how often I can afford to visit him. I will worry that my decission to send him will leave him feeling abandoned by his Mother and grandparents, effecting him emotionally for life. I also fear being judged by other Mothers and Family who perhaps carry bias opinions never living my daily life..
If I don't send him, I feel guilty feeling that perhaps his Father could have dealt with his behavioral issues better than how I'm coping. I know his Father is finacially stable with his work and income and can provide so many more fun opprotunities that I cannot being that I only work Part-Time and due to needing DayCare Im limited to the shifts Im available to pick up.
Regardless of what I decide to do.. I want to do what is best for my son. At this point it would be selfish of me to say my son is better off staying with me simply because it will kill me to see him go and will cause life long feelings of guilt... At some point I need to stop worrying about other peoples judgements of "what kind of Mother my decission or thoughts make me"..
Anyone have a similar situation or feelings?