Custody Issue

Leah - posted on 04/27/2014 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I work overseas to earn an income which supports me and my three year old son who stays with my sister in my native country. After my separation with my son's dad,he remarried and has a daughter. Recently he filed for custody for our son .Can the judge grant him custody in my absence

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Michelle - posted on 04/27/2014

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I agree with the other ladies. The Father has more rights to look after his child over your sister. Yes the courts may favour the Mothers having custody, but you aren't there.
The fact that your ex didn't pay child support has no relevance in his capability to look after his child. He also has a stable family now and that will probably go in his favour.

Ev - posted on 04/27/2014

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I have to agree with Jodi on this. You left to get a job to support your child and I understand that totally. I had to do that when my ex had decided to leave. I had to have food, shelter and utilities to live. But maybe there is something closer to home that you can do so you can be there with your little one.

Jodi - posted on 04/27/2014

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You are the one who left your child. So what if he already has another family? I do too. Does that make me an irresponsible mother? Having another family doesn't make one an irresponsible parent.

The fact is, the law may SAY the child stays with the mother, but you aren't there.

Leah - posted on 04/27/2014

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But how can a judge grant custody to a father who is ignorant,irresponsible and already has another family...the only advantage I have is,the law there favour mothers and it states children under twelve stay with the mother and the dad only gets visitation rights plus child support.

Ev - posted on 04/27/2014

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That makes no difference. Responsible or not. There is not custody, visitation or child support set up. So you are going to have to go home and see to the issues and get it settled. I do not know where you are or how the laws work there but if its like the US then dad may have the same rights as you to have the child with him. That is the end ot that question in a nutshell. You do not seem to understand that if he wants the child and files for custody he could very well get it and if you do not show to court to counter this you will not have custody but visitation.

Leah - posted on 04/27/2014

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@Evelyn used to stay with him when I was at home and during that period,i never got any child support from the dad though he was working and I was jobless. Things got tough,the main reason I took up the job offer that was at hand. I left my son in the care of the grandmother from the dad's side. And as much as I've been away I am the main provider and i've been going back for visits. This summer I went back home and left my son with my sister. This made the father to snap.@Jodi true that am not there physically but am very responsible unlike his dad who is near but very irresponsible.

Jodi - posted on 04/27/2014

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Well, you don't exactly have custody - you're not the one who is there. If you are not there for your child, why shouldn't his father be?

Ev - posted on 04/27/2014

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Depending on the laws of your home country, he can file for custody. You do not say in your post you established custody to start with when he married someone else and had a family with that lady. And since you do not mention custody and visitation for the dad, he may be well within his rights to have the child with him. I think you might want to go home and start finding legal advice how to handle this.

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