Custody issues

Catherine - posted on 01/21/2015 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Hi, my husband's ex wife has been keeping him from seeing the children for the last couple of years. Each time he has attempted to talk to the children she becomes verbally abusive to them as well as him. There is a lot of verbal abuse going on according to the school counselor who sees the children. The children also tell their grand mother about the abuse that goes on. Now the ex wife is threatening to go to court to take away his parental rights because he will not allow the girls to take a tablet home (the tablet stays at his mother's house and the girls have access to it anytime they want). The ex wife is bi polar and is not on her medication. I am very concerned for the children. My husband is attempting to fight for custody of them but I know it will be an uphill battle because he was homeless for nearly 2 years (before we got together) and was unable to regularly visit the children. The ex wife is in violation of the parenting plan (several times) but nobody can seem to point us in the right direction. Is there anyone who can give me some advice? Thank you in advance.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/22/2015

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If court orders are being violated, then it needs to be addressed in court.

If there are no orders, have your husband and his attorney petition for custody or at the very least visitation. Michelle's got some great advice.

Michelle - posted on 01/22/2015

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If she isn't abiding by the visitation plan your husband has set up then take her to court and file for parental alienation for not letting him see his children.
Make sure you have documented when he was supposed to have the children and when she has denied him having them. Keep records of abusive phone calls or messages as well.
Let her take it to court because she doesn't have a case, a judge will laugh her out of the room if that's the reason for taking his rights away.
I strongly suggest getting a lawyer and taking her to court for set visitation.

Frances - posted on 01/22/2015

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Just Keep doing as you both are. I feel that the Lord is watching over you and your family. I wish you all of the best. Keep us Posted. Frances

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Cindy - posted on 10/01/2016

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This is true but he has to actually make a physical attempt (go to pick up his kids) in order for it to hold up. He also should have his visitation orders in his hand, have an inpartial witness (call the police).

Michelle - posted on 01/23/2015

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I'm glad you are going to get him to take it back to court. Make sure their Grandmother keeps a record of the phone call and what was threatened.
Hopefully you get a judge that will see the Bio Mum for what she is and award primary custody to their Father and yourself.
Good luck with it all and keep us posted with what happens.

Catherine - posted on 01/22/2015

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As of last night, the girls contacted their grand mother. They wanted to know when they were getting a cord for their IPOD to hook up to their stereo. Their grand mother said they needed to speak to their father about the cord. At which point it became verbally violent with the ex wife threatening my husband's mother that she was no longer going to see the girls unless it was supervised and that she was going to go to court to again try to take away his rights. The "girls" then informed their grand mother that they would not contact their father, nor speak to their father ever again until their grand mother "said she was sorry" and that they would not speak to their father if I was around. This is a new development because the girls have always spoken to me, either via web cam or on the phone and there was never any hostility in fact last time we spoke via web cam they informed their father he needed to "marry me and keep me because I was good" The last phone conversation I had with the girls they stated they wanted to come up to visit "so we can cook and do crafts together" and so that they can have "quiet time with a nice lady who doesn't yell all the time". I have done some research and going to have my husband ask for a few things once in court, Thank you for reminding me of the alienation aspect I had forgotten that. You all have been such a wonderful help. Thank you!!

Catherine - posted on 01/21/2015

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Thank you Frances, When my children's father and I divorced I never once said a negative word about him, in my opinion it's "grown up issues".. Now that the kids are grown if they have questions I answer them but I still do not speak ill of their father. It is one thing that my husband now and I agree on. Though there is a lot of animosity we never speak ill of the children's mother. We are working on showing the courts the stability, we have invited cps into the house without question. I work with on the Sheriff's department and my husband is on disability. We keep in contact with the kids, once a week via phone calls when we are allowed, we also have a recorder on our phone for the times when she is screaming in the back ground at either us or the children. Again thank you.

Frances - posted on 01/21/2015

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Be Consistent, Pay Child Support even if he is not seeing the kids. Document every attempt to see the children, what is said. Show the courts that you two are Stable. Just because he was Homeless at one time, does not mean that you both are not good people, or a good parent. Show the courts, Stability. Things will work out. And no matter what. Never speak ill to the children about the other Parent.

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