Custody issues with a negligent father

Stephanie - posted on 08/15/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




I am a Mother of 2 boys, I share 50/50 custody with their father. When they go to their fathers "house" for his days with them, HE RARELY has them!! I am so frusterated and need advice on the correct way to help my kids. When they go to their "Dads house" (he lives in his mothers basement), they are rarely actually with him. He is always either at work, with his g/f, working another job, or playing in his softball league. His mother or a babysitter keeps them 90% of his time!!Mind you he works night shift, so he literally goes to work evening til morning then goes home and sleeps most of the day to get ready for the next shift. He schedules his off days for when he doesnt have the kids so he can spend time with his g/f. Im not just assuming these things, these are facts. My kids have recenetly brought up over dinner that they can stay home by their selves now. I asked them why they would think that(7 year old and 4 year old). They said that when Daddy is sleeping his mamaw and papaw tell the oldest he is in charge if no other adults are home while dad sleeps. Are you kiding me!?!? Now he tells me that he is going to start going back to College on top of working his F/T job. No problem, I give him credit for wanting to be educated. But when I hit the topic of keeping the kids while he goes to school he freaked and told me to mind my own business. My oldest son has had plenty of behavioral issues in school, and its the beginning of a new school year now. My son and I and I thought his Dad were working all summer long to prep him for a school year of good behavior. I called to ask my son how his 1st day was to find out I couldnt talk to him cause his dad was playing softball and he had to wait at ballpark til 9pm on school night while Dad played. Eventually Dad called a BABYSITTER to pick up kids and put them to bed!! This is crazy! AND on Fathers day this year we got my live in boyfriend of (1.5 years) suprise ice cream treats his oldest son was so excited to give them to him. Out of the blue he said, "Mom, I love my Zachy more than my own Dad" WOW. How can I help my kids so they are actually taken care of by a parent! Can I represent myself to modify our custody arrangments. Get sole custody? What do I do?


[deleted account]

inadequate supervision is neglect. full stop. and i would be seeking legal advice as to how you can navigate that. the fact that he leaves them with his parents etc, while i agree is frustrating because you want them spending time with their dad, is not actually a breach of orders. While the kids are in his care it is up to him who they spend time with, unless otherwise stated in court orders. That said, if the people he leaves them with are also failing to provide proper supervision, it is neglect. As i said, i'd be getting some legal advice asap.

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