custody question

Gabrielle - posted on 01/09/2016 ( 18 moms have responded )

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okay well im a young mom my daughters 8months old now and well me and her dad are no longer together due to the constant violence. it started when i was 7months pregnant with our baby he got furious with me because i told his dog to get off the bed and he said i was bullyin his dog he beat me pretty bad there was blood everywhere. it was our first incident he didnt want to take me to the doctor or anything he wouldnt even get me bandaids for my face. since i didnt meet my dad till i was 11 years old i didnt want to put our baby thru that so i tried to make the family thing work again. he would snap over the littlest things and id get scared he would hit me again nd just shut up. he wouldnt let me see my family but whenever his mom wanted to see our daughter i drove the 2hour drive to let her see her. now its gotten to the point where ive been to a womens shelter twice because the first time he puched me in my face while i was holdin our baby bevause i wouldnt get up nd help him look for the house keys and the second time is because his mom punched me in my face because i didnt like the color of the shoes she was tryin to get my daughter(they were cute i didnt mind at all but the color was something i knew stood out nd my daughter wouldnt be able to wear the boots like she should be able to) she said i was ungreatful i just rathered something that would match with everything. let me just say the violence isnt just towards me, he also fights his brothers whom he lives with now often over little stuff like the frozen icecream cakes from the fridge. one time he even cursed at his brothers daughter tellin her get out my room dont come in my fuckin room and they fought again i got hurt while there where fighting be ause i was tryin to protect my daughter... he threw a glass plate tryin to hit his brother but it hit me in my ankle which then became swollen. when i left the house and when to have a civil standby to get my stuff from the house we went to court to get it approved and he said fuck that baby in court so i dont believe he cares about our daughter at all i think he just wants joint custody so he can stay in contact and harass me. his mom has an obsetion with our baby and asked to babysit her since she was 3 days out when i said wel see she call him cryin sayin i wont let her babysit she got stuff for the baby but i dont feel comfortable using them because she rubes it in my face that she does everythin for my daughter and that she can afford to take care of her better than me and while i was in the hospital havin complication with latchin the baby she would down me by sayin the baby dont want breastmilk she just want some formula... i think thats why i never got her to latch because i was so hurt i lost motivation but i began to pump my milk for the baby so im not a complete failure i guess. okay sorry just a back story but here is the issue now i have filled for child support but i really dont care about the money i just want the custody to be set up so that i cant protect my daughter but i want to do sole custody since im scared the baby will get hurt if she goes over there what is some advice on what to do im just so scred right now i never kept her from him since recently because i use to let him see her on skype but he got mad and hung up on her when she fell over from her baby play table... really he was just tryin to make me feel bad because he knows i hate to see her cry so ever since then i have been lettin him see her on skype anymore ... sorry ladys do u have any advice for me im really tryin

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Sarah - posted on 01/09/2016

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Absolutely get child support. If you don't need the money put it away for your child to use later. Regarding custody, unless you have proof of the violence; objective evidence like police reports, photos, texts, voicemails, you will not likely be given sole custody. You have to prove he is unfit to parent and until you can he has every right to see her. Now of course you can ask the judge to have parenting evaluations done and an independent assessment made of the situation in hopes that his temper will show thru during the process. If you prevent him from seeing or parenting your child you can be accused of parental alienation. Try to gather as much info as you can and file in court for both the support and custody.

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Gabrielle - posted on 01/09/2016

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and to add on to the situation his brother is also an abuser and he has beaten his child mom too... not only that his other brother smokes weed around our daughter and when i say anything about it he says i dont pay rent here so i shouldnt be talkin

Gabrielle - posted on 01/09/2016

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my dad is currently goin thru a little healing process himself he had early signs of collin cancer and had to do emergancy surgery he cant help right now

American - posted on 01/09/2016

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Have you called legal services? They may be able to help. Can your parents help?

Gabrielle - posted on 01/09/2016

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i cant afford an attorney im just now gettin back on my feet after i had to drop everything and leave the house he threw all my stuff out includin my ssc and other important stuff i had to start over from scratch. the attorney i spoke to about this case wants 3500$ and thats a straight up fee i cant afford it at all

Gabrielle - posted on 01/09/2016

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this is what im tryin to do but im scared there goin to say it was alienation

Gabrielle - posted on 01/09/2016

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im so scared she will get hurt goin over there like he even yelled at her to shut up multiple time and she is just 8 months now this was happening when she was 3-6months

Gabrielle - posted on 01/09/2016

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he's bipolar and skitso hes been to anger management and was on his meds when it happened

Gabrielle - posted on 01/09/2016

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the only time i was actually able to was the first time i went to the shelter and i didnt press charges just reported it

Gabrielle - posted on 01/09/2016

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and i have picture of the injuries too but idk if its too late to do anything about it

Gabrielle - posted on 01/09/2016

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im tryin to get a protective order but they wont give me one now id have to wait a year

American - posted on 01/09/2016

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You should have called the police and put his sorry ass in jail. Did you at least get pictures of your injuries? Honey you have to document every thing. Times dates injuries. These things will help you in court. Do you have an attorney? If not I suggest you get one. He needs some help with anger management and until he gets help he has no business being around you or your child.

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