Custody/Relocation Advice

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

I will try to make this as brief as possible- I have a 6 year old and have been dating my current boyfriend for several years. About 9 months ago my boyfriend and I discussed me moving closer to him and I agreed. Schools in my current area were not so great and the violence in the area was pretty high also. The state I planned to move too was significantly better. I discussed this anticipated move with the father (we were never married) 5 months prior to the actual date I planned to move, he said nothing. We discussed the proposed move several other times and each time he seemed to agree with it. I arranged a great deal of visitation time for him, at least what he currently had and maybe even a little more, although the visits would be more spaced out because of the distance. 2 weeks before I actually moved, he served me with papers preventing the child from leaving the state. The father has had some involvement with the child but never paid any support. At the point that I received papers I had already secured a place, a job and resigned from my current job- not to mention I had already moved all of me and my child's things. My lawyer advised me to continue with the move but travel back often to exercise parenting time. I have traveled back to visit my child every few weeks and have also had my child visit me in the month and a half since this all happened. Our court date is in a few months, but has anyone ever had any experience with this? At this point I just want custody of my child - even if it means I have to move back and nix moving altogether. The move really was in the best interest of my child and it's pointless if the child cannot come. Also it seems the father is more interested in making things harder on me then thinking of our child. He has tried to contest the child visiting although the GAL supported it and makes no effort to respond to any communication. I have remained very nice and civil, although he has become quite nasty which surprises me since currently he has the child. I appreciate any feedback given.

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Ev - posted on 01/01/2014

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I have to comment on something here. You want custody of your child...is that the best interest of the child. Is the move away from his father in his best interest either? The reason his father did the move in taking you to court to stop you moving his child and your child from the state was so he could still have ample time with his child too. By moving far enough away, you make it harder for the father to see his kid. Your lawyer should have known better than to tell you to go ahead with the move. He or she should have known that the judge would have gone with dad's request to stop it. I am sure that there are other places in the area you were living in that were not high crime ridden places and bad spots of town. Also why could not your boyfriend move here?

Jodi - posted on 01/01/2014

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Okay, well, unfortunately the father is well within his rights to prevent you from moving without written permission of either him or the courts. You say that he "said nothing" and "seemed to agree with it" which are not the same as agreeing to it. You should have gone through the legal process to do it. Unfortunately, now, you risk having the child remain with his father with visitations for you in place. I can see you tried to do all the right things, but it wasn't through the courts, so there was no legal right for you to move your child. I do wish you luck. As I said, you appeared to do a lot of the right things before you moved. You just lucked out that you didn't follow the legal process.

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