Heather - posted on 02/23/2015 ( 23 moms have responded )
My son is now 4 months old. The father and I did not get along near the end of the pregnancy but I was verbally and mentally abused. He is an extreme narcissist. I filed a domestic violence case against him but was 11 days post partum and also couldn't afford a lawyer and decided to not go to court as I would have lost some time with my son (they gave him two visitations in interim and he misfed him formula he was very allergic to causing severe vomiting, crying, rash, fever, etc). Since, I have visited my family in PA then stayed with a friend for 2 weeks as he kicked us out and had an eviction on us from our home with all our items still inside and changed the locks. He has previously said he prayed our son wasn't his (he is going through a divorce that's not finalized and it was NOT because I was pregnant it was pre meeting me) and one night he couldn't stop his crying and said "I cant get the little son of a b*tch to shut up". He spit in my face and said he'd kill my dog and beat me. He's left visitations early that I've allowed him to have...ONLY with me there every time. I have begged him to see my son is too young to leave me as we've bonded and my son cries when he holds him and he doesn't understand how to console him. He also has an at home business and works 24/7 out of state or in state and CONSTANTLY on the phone and puts my son second. My son will cry for a bottle and he'll make a plate of food before feeding him ugh.
Anyways, I didn't want to spend a ton on a lawyer and ended up getting one because he wouldn't back down. I have all of the texts and emails with him saying he'd pay 50% medical, and all of the negative things he said and did I stated above. I feel id have a good case (I too got angry because of his lack of parenting in texts and emails though). I have offered a settlement but wonder if I'm doing wrong? Fathers these days are getting more custody though and this seems to be a middle ground for us.
I guess the second part is...anything I don't want to forget to put into the agreement that anyone has encountered? Thank you so much for your advice.