Lindsay - posted on 08/27/2013 ( 15 moms have responded )
First of all I know that I should seek legal help and I have but I guess I am just so worried and would just like to here what other people think of my situation. I got married to someone 8 years younger than me on June 2012. I accidentally got pregnant at the end of July 2012. He ended up leaving out of the blue at the end of August 2012 and never gave me a reason. We have had no contact with each other except in Feb to figure out where to serve divorce papers to and then 3 weeks ago i contacted him about relinquishing his custody and visitation rights which he had said he wanted to do the last day I saw him in person. He said he was willing to so I sent him the papers and a week later he had text me back and asked if I wanted child support. I mistakenly said yes and so he texted me back and said "then I don't plan on signing my rights over". He has never once attempted to see the baby who is now 4 1/2 months old. I went and filed for full custody and he sent back a response saying he wants a paternity test and that if the child his is he wants liberal custodial access yet 3 weeks ago he was willing to sign over his rights before he knew I wanted child support HA. I already have a 6 year old from a previous relationship(if you wanna call it)and I have raised her completely on my own. She is very connected with her little sister. Both girls have an amazing support system in my home as I live with my parents who are very physically and emotionally supportive of my girls and me.
The father of my baby is not a good guy and his mother is even worse. He has a bad drinking probelem and his mother allows it to happen in her home. He is under 21 so he shouldn't even be drinking. She also has bought him firearms since hes too young to purchase them himself(he always has access to them, even while drunk). The fact that his mother has let this go on and enables his behavior which I know she has been enabling this since he was 17 is disgusting to me. And yes I know I messed up for even getting involved with these people so please don't tell me.
But anyways I am now worried about court that is coming up in a week. Even if he just gets visitation or most liekly supervised visitation(since he has never met her)that would still bother me. My daughter is very fussy and had severe colic and excessive crying. I am the only person who can calm her down. So to hand her over to either a court monitor whom she doesn't know and then to him who she also doesn't know doesn't seem like it would be in her best interest. What happens when she starts hysterically crying and I'm not there? I don't think that will be good to be taken away from her mother(the one person who can comfort her). There is more to the story but I don't want to bore anyone so if you have any questions feel free to ask. Thanks