Brian - posted on 02/15/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )
Okay. So I confess. I am a single man. I am not here for a nefarious purpose. I am here to find an answer to a question. That question is how do I maintain or start a relationship with a single mother.
A little background. I am a single man. I have met a woman who is a single mother of an 8 year old son. We have been friends for some time, and I have spent time with her son. He and I actually get along very well, and we have a mutual respect for one another. In other words, if I tell him that it is time for bed, he gives me a hug and he goes to bed. He gets excited about my visits, and is very curious about the relationship between his mother and I.
To make things clear, his mother and I are friends. We met when she was involved with someone else, and I have never made more of the situation than what it currently is, until recently.
We recently spent a week celebrating out mutual birthdays that are a few days apart. It was a very fun, joyous situation until at the end of the night, she made a comment that changed my perspective. She actually took me to her bed in a inebriated state and turned it into a sexual innuendo. Before you ask, No. I did not have sex with her or take advantage of her in any way. But, the situation caused me to look at our relationship in a different light. It made me perceive her as a woman and a potential partner.
To be clear. I am an adult. I accept that she has a child from another man,(who is not even in the picture) and I accept that she has a past. I do not subscribe to the idea of treating a child differently because you are not the birth parent. When you become a family, the genetics mean nothing, It is who and how you choose to spend you life with.
My problem is: How do I address the situation that she is becoming my best friend. How do I tell her, that our friendship is important to me, but I would be interested in seeing if there is something more than just a friendship.
As I stated, I am an adult. To be clear, I am still close friends with my all of my exes. We speak at length on a regular basis, and I am often the first person they call when they have a problem with their new relationships. I do not want to lose my friendship with her, and I am mature enough to not let a potential bad date ruin our friendship. I just don't want to miss out on being with someone I adore because her child adores me as well.
Any advice is appreciated.