Daughter 28 years at home forbids to adhere to my rules.

Michele - posted on 08/20/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My daugther is 28 years old with a 6 years old son. I have a history of problems with her since teenage years. However, she recently moved back into my home and refuses to do any chores. Every time I ask her to help me clean, it always turn into a argument. Her bedroom is totally unsanitary. There are clothes, dishes, trash everywhere. She feels that if she's paying rent then I shouldn't have anything to say. I plead with her to at least keep the room clean. However, she has not follow my rules. Yesterday, she screamed and said that I'm raising her pressue and is affecting her health instead working with me because I gave her a choice to respect my wishes or else she has to leave at the end of the month. Then, she stormed out of the house. All I asked is for her to keep her room clean. She's going out all times of the night; most of the time 1am, 2am or 3am in the morning while I'm sleep in the house with my 4 years old and her 6 years old son. Also, I beleive that she's smoking refeer. She hardly cooks.I am a chrisitan woman and I am SOOOO TIRED!!!!! she is totally difiance and it's a bit too much.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/20/2013

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Well, first of all, why did you not lay down the rules BEFORE you allowed her back into your home?

Solution: Lay down, in writing the expectations for living there. Include monthly amounts that will be paid to you for her room/board/food/utilities. The fair way to do that is divide expenses by number of bodies in household. If there are 6 people, two of whom are your daughter and her child, then she pays 1/3 the expenses of the house. Include restrictions on coming and going during the wee hours, include every little nitpicky thing you can think of.

IF she agrees to be bound by that contract, you get it notarized with both of your signatures, and a witness (the notary will suffice for witness). Then, when she violates it, you can kick her out with a clean conscience.

My solution? MY HOUSE, MY RULES. If you don't like it, don't let the door hit ya in the ass on your way out! My son just moved out, and he already knows that if he ever does need to come back, he's welcome, but under the restrictions of paying rent and upkeep, and contributing to the household duties.

at the age of 28, with a child of her own, there is absolutely no reason for you to be giving her a free ride.

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Michele - posted on 08/20/2013

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Yes I most certainly did. it was a tough situation. she was evicted and I reluntantly allowed her to come back. i wasn't happy at all. I felt trapped. This is actually her 3 time back in my home. Each time, I experienced discomfort. she's just one of those difficult people. Before she complied with my wishes, she will challenged me to the end - very defiance. Up until now, she's gone again with carton of food on her bed. Thanks for taking time to respond.

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