Myra - posted on 10/19/2016 ( 7 moms have responded )
My relationship with my 24 year old daughter has been rocky for some years now to the point where she basically left at the beginning of last month. She's of the belief that she can do whatever she wants because she's over 18 and doesn't have to respect household rules. The biggest problem would probably be with the boyfriend of 2 years; my husband and I do not allow overnight visits here nor his home. There have been a couple of occasions where we went to his house to get her and she threw a huge fit. Her curfew is midnight weekdays and 1 on weekends and if she's not home, he'll go out to find her. We all have chores around the house and we expect her to keep her room and bathroom tidy; rarely does she pull her weight. Everything is a battle with her.
The power struggle started about 3 years ago when my husband became unemployed (he hasn't worked since) and shortly after, we ran through what little savings we had to pay bills. She graduated college debt free because of us and felt the need to help us out and moved back in. She has a very good job and has been taking care of the household expenses since. Because of that, she feels she should call the shots now! We appreciate everything she's done but this is still our home and we are still the parents here. Last month, she stayed out late with the boyfriend again and my husband said he was taking her car until she can be more responsible about curfew (the car is in his name) and she left that same day to a friend's house. The next morning, we come back from breakfast and her room is cleaned out. The three of us have a sit down and she says she's sick of our controlling her and that she's moving in with the boyfriend. The situation turned into a screaming match and she said "good luck being homeless" and we haven't seen her since; in fact, we just found out from social media that her and the boyfriend moved to another state 2 weeks ago confirming that she's been planning this for a while, prompting all these fights.
In short, she'a gone and won't speak with us and we've been stuck with all the bills plus her car (she says she'll buy another one) and she doesn't even care. I don't understand how my daughter could be so cruel to her parents and am at a lost on what to do next.