daughter being bullied by teachers

Cryatal - posted on 04/23/2015 ( 11 moms have responded )

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My daughter and her friends had been playing house on the playground. Tuesday they were acting like they were getting married and one of the girls were acting like the boy and the other was the girl and one was the child and the other the preacher. And the other girl was just watching(all girls) well teachers had heard them talking about it earlier and asked them to stop talking about 3 times. After recess the 3 of the 5 girls were called outside to the hallway. The tteachergot in one's face and yelled at her and told her that since she knew her gma she was going to tell her. My daughter and another girl was taking to the office. I was called first and they told me what had happen and that as a Christian they were offered and wanted to know if I would let them paddle my daughter. I said no your not paddling my daughter cause you think she was acting gay she is in the 4th grade. They said no we want to paddle her for not listening and now the principle will be getting calls from parents asking why there are girls getting married to each other. No one asked exactly what they were playing and all the girls said the same story. These teachers even told them to their face they were acting gay and girls marry boys not girls. Now I understand what is May look like but your not going to spank my child cause you are assuming things. Anyways today she goes back to school after I visited the superintendent yesterday and her teacher wouldn't let her pass paper work out like she always has and her teacher wouldn't hug her like she always has. My child has all A's in her report card and is a very good student. This is a long story but it boils down to the teacher and principle assuming things and wanting to paddle them or disapline them for acting a way that the teacher don't believe in. What else would you as a parent do.... Especially when you know you played house as a child and married you sister that was playing the boy or a cousin that played the boy and it didn't mean you were gay. I do agree that they should be in trouble for not listening but I'm glad it happened Sri use cause I know I'll do what I can to stop it. I know there are parents that would just let their child get a paddling for something the teachers assumed.

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Ledia - posted on 04/24/2015

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Good point, Jodi. Where I live (USA) private Christian schools are not held to the same anti-discrimination laws as public schools. They get to create their own curricula and can deny acceptance or expel anyone who does not live in accordance with their "Belief based behavioral policies." They are not even required to teach evolution!

Also, where I live, paddling in school (public or private) is still legal! You do have to give the school permission before they can hit your kids, but I still find it sickening. It seems like the US is so far behind in everything...

Valeria - posted on 04/24/2015

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If this is a public school the teachers have absolutely no say in religious beliefs. This was simply girls playing house like you said, we have all done this. Even for not listening, paddling a child is not legal ever specially in a school. This is highly inappropriate behavior and saying "they were acting gay" is discriminative. No teacher, or principal should be enforcing their personal beliefs to children no matter what age in a public school. I agree with the other mothers, you need to take this to the school board or a step further and get the law involved because this is not ok. By doing so you are preventing a lot of future damage to other children. I would have gone crazy if anybody called to ask for my permission to hit my children. If it was something serious or them acting up then yes I will allow you to do a suitable punishment that will teach them a lesson not harm them physically and mentally. These people should not be working in an elementary school or in any school for that matter. They don't know how this could affect children, what if one really is confused about what she feels for other girls, this could have caused great mental and emotional damage. This is simply not ok and you should report it immediately.

Jodi - posted on 04/24/2015

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Where I live, even a Christian private school is not allowed to break the law surrounding discrimination. Yes, Christian schools have to accept non-Christians and people actively practising other religions, AND they have to teach about other religions - not such a bad thing.

So it depends where the OP lives.

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Cryatal - posted on 04/24/2015

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I really appreciate everyone's advice. I wanted to see if I was in the wrong for feeling like I do about it so this is why I posted here. No one knows me and I know that if I were in the wrong I'd get more help out of stranger's not beating around the Bush about this. Thank y'all so very much. I am going to do more because what if they did this to another child that was confused and the child took it into their own hands and Did something aweful. Again thank y'all.

Jodi - posted on 04/24/2015

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It doesn't matter here what anyone believes. If this is a public school, unless you live somewhere that stipulates they must teach the gospel (I know some places still do), then she had no right to do what she did and has no right to impost her religious beliefs on anyone else.

Cryatal - posted on 04/24/2015

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This is a public school. I'm trying to give the teacher and chance cause I totally understand where she is coming from on what it looked like. So if her attitudes towards my daughter hasn't changed by Monday I'm going to have a one on one come to Jesus meeting with her. I don't exactly believe in what she believes I we do have gay/lesbian family members but who does believe in the same beliefs now days. And I am totally cool with it. I don't want to take it any futher but I'm about ready to tell her if she was such a Christian as she stated then wouldn't it be a sin to judge other ppl too. In just beyond aggravated at the whole thing. My daughter called me at work this morning wanting to take her cell phone cause she was scared the teacher was going to be mean to her again. my daughter is never worried about ppl being mean too her.

Ledia - posted on 04/24/2015

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Is this a public school or a private school? If it is a private Christian school, then the teachers do have a right to assert religious views it they are the views of the school, but if this is a public school, I would sue them.

Religion has NO place in a public school, and religious beliefs are not to be forced onto anyone, which is exactly what this teacher is doing. In many states, women CAN marry women, so that teacher needs to get your head out of the sand.

If you have written and/or recorded evidence and reliable witness that the girls were punished for no reason other than not conforming to the teacher's views on gay marriage, and you've already been to the superintendent, and nothing was done, I would seek legal counsel and take the matter to court. The school is publicly funded, and is infringing on your child's right to freedom of religion.

If the girls were talking in class when they should not have been, or were saying things that are against actual school policy (curse words, violent threats, bullying, etc.) I agree that they should have been disciplined, but from your story, it sounds like they were at recess, not in class, and were only asked to stop talking because their play conflicted with the teachers religious beliefs.

Jodi - posted on 04/24/2015

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I don't know where you live, but where I live, this would be considered highly inappropriate for a teacher to make a fuss over something like this. It is demonstrating clear bigotry (even though the children were clearly innocently playing house, to insinuate that there should be punishment for same-sex play is a form of bigotry). The laws where I live would not allow for this kind of discrimination/bigotry. If I were you I would take it to the next level, whether that be a School Board or an Education Department, and file a formal complaint. Get that recording if you can, so that you can quote it word for word.

Cryatal - posted on 04/23/2015

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The teachers told me that they told the girls that they were acting gay. And the teacher made this about her belief when she called and said as a Christian I am offened and I would like to know if I can paddle your child. And like I said yes they should be in trouble for not listening. And when it comes to what the other kids are saying... Are you taking the other girls or are you talking the kids in her class. Because the girl that their little kid was there watching the whole thing take place went home telling her mom that maddie and shayna got in trouble and couldn't understand cause they had been playing house all school year on the play ground. My daughter didn't even understand what the deal was and the shayna girl has no clue what gay or lesbian was until the teacher and principle explained it to her. So they all were lost about what was going on in the very beginging. When the princleple called me she made it very clear that this was about her feeling like they girls were acting gay. She admitted it all to the superintendent. Even the letter sent home had the "wedding ceromny of 2 girls". When they called the other little girls mom they worded the situation different and put it too the other mom as if it was about the girls not listening. Its to the point that I'm getting the recording of the conversation because at my work all calls are recorded. I really appreciate you responding and if you find a lot of mistakes in my typing it's probably due to an update to my phone and it has totally messed eveything up. I promise I've tried proof reading it to make sure it makes some type of sense. Lol.

Jodi - posted on 04/23/2015

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Hang on, can I just please clarify something? When you say "teachers had heard them talking about it earlier and asked them to stop talking about 3 times." do you mean they were talking about this DURING class, not at break time? In that case, yes, they should be punished. This had nothing to do with beliefs.

Also, how do you know they actually said to the kids they were acting gay? Your daughter told you? What are the other children saying? I just ask because often children interpret things but are not great at communicating word-for-word, just their perception, because that's what they remember.

With regard to the paddling, I don't agree that anyone should be paddling a child, period, so I fully support you on this one.

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