Daughter being inappropriate

Michelle - posted on 05/09/2016 ( 21 moms have responded )

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One day I came home after a long day of work, my daughter has just turned 16 and she gets home before I do. When I got home i saw a car in the drive way and I didnt recognize it. I walked inside and she was having sex with a boy I have never met and I dont know how to handle the situation. What do I do?

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Sarah - posted on 05/12/2016

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Seriously? You are too busy to take the time to teach your daughter that sex with a random partner is unsafe?
"I don't have time to sit my daughter down and say sex with a random man is not acceptable"
I don't lounge about the house all day either, and I have managed to work those conversations with all four of my kids since they were young. What did you expect to happen without you teaching her? That she'd learn to make good choices all on her own? If you are too busy to set a establish house rules and have discussions about safe sex, then maybe you need another person in her life to step up. You think your busy now? Wait til your 16 yo has a baby, then you'll know busy.
So if you really want you question answered:
You tell the stranger to get the hell out of the house. Then you discipline your child for making a terrible decision. After that you take her to be screened for diseases and pregnancy (cause if she didn't know to not have random partners she probably did not use BC either) then you (or someone who has time) teaches her about birth control, choosing safe partners etc.
Why do you suppose she is having sex with random partners? Maybe because there is a void in her life that is not being filled?
What did you do when you walked in? Pretend not to notice. Raising a healthy child is a job you took on 16 years ago, and you cannot stick you head in the sand and claim that you are too busy to teach her about sex, life, love and all that comes with it.
What did you expect my answer to be?

Jodi - posted on 05/15/2016

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LMAO so hard right now at people defending a troll with such great passion :P

Dove - posted on 05/15/2016

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*m a hard working mother, single, and I don't have time to sit my daughter down and say sex with a random man is not acceptable.


Jessi.... maybe you should read comments before you spout off at the mouth...

Sarah - posted on 05/15/2016

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Jessi you stated:
"No where in her post did she say she didn't have time to ever have sex talk with daughter ever."
What she did say was: " I don't have time to sit my daughter down and say sex with a random man is not acceptable."
You want to split hairs, suit yourself.
I never said she was a bad mother, I simply said she should have been instilling values long ago to prevent this very thing from happening.
You should note that in a totally different thread "Michelle C" goes on to tout her discipline skills, if she has the time to discipline then maybe she has the time to teach her kids about sex.
http://www.circleofmoms.com/welcome-circ...
I stand by my post , you don't like it, then don't read it.

Sarah - posted on 05/09/2016

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One day? Really? If you have not established rules about male guests (or guests at all) when you are not home, it is time to make some. Teaching your daughter about safe sex, choosing good partners and waiting to become intimate all should have started long ago.
I really don't know what advice you want. What did you do at the time? Nothing?

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Sarah - posted on 05/15/2016

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One day after I got sick of reading BS I decided to close this post. The End.

Dove - posted on 05/15/2016

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Once upon a time... the OP had a problem w/ her just turned 16 year old daughter having sex w/ some random dude. Then a couple of days later she says on another post that 15 is too young for sex and on another post that she's basically the queen of discipline.

Yep... no troll here. Nothing to see. Move along....

Sarah - posted on 05/15/2016

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I thought so as well Jodi. Since the post started like a story; One day, I came home from a long day of work.....

Jessi - posted on 05/15/2016

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Wow Sara E. I am new to replying on this site and had to do it after looking through several posts for all sorts of different things and seeing how berate people and just say things that were just flat out untrue. You say the person says something in there question or statement that just isn't there. What is wrong with you. You should be banned! If someone is coming asking for help and advice I guarantee the things I've seen from you help noone except maybe you feel superior about yourself. It seems you are one of those people who feel better by making everyone feel worse. No where in her post did she say she didn't have time to ever have sex talk with daughter ever. Just like all over these other questions people have asked and you answer saying they said things they didn't at all say. Or are you delusional or hallucinating? People like you should stay far away from you computer or device to respond to people asking for help and pray you are kinder and less superior to your kids and don't put words in their mouths too so they can feel they can talk to you! As for this post I think that you need to have a long talk with your daughter about appropriate behavior and partners etc., and maybe get some cameras in your entry way and driveway and any other point someone may try to sneak I'm. For home security and for your piece of mind. I got one at Walmart that I don't have to pay monthly fees for. I can look at it in real time anywhere or go over previous footage. I'm sorry you are going through this and I hope this helps alleviate your stress and fears and obviously I think your should figure out an appropriate punishment for your daughter. Also I'm so sorry that Sara E took her problems out on you. You seem to me to be a parent that is doing her best. And doing a good job at trying to fix any mistakes made, you are asking for help and advice when you need it and have owned up to your mistakes. All parents make mistakes and it takes guts to own up to them and ask for help. Good luck!

Maria - posted on 05/13/2016

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I personaly think you shouldnt get mad or anything similar at all with her, people have to understand this is a new age and that sex in teenagers will happen. And the best way of avoiding sti , pregnancy etc , is explaining your kid that having sex is not bad at all!! It is something absolutely natural, the atraccion is natural and wanting something else with another person is natural, and nicely explain them that if they dont use protection, pregnancy is the least that can happen, and show them that ur open minded to provide them whatever they need as long as they take care when they are having sex , where, with whome , and how! And explain them that ANYONE can have an sti, even the most handsome guy on earth, and also the ways they can get them (explaining that oral sex also can get you an sti for eg. Or even if he "comes out") so as long as they know the rules and have SAFE sex , the rest is fine, cause is natural feelings, its atraccion :) hope my opinion helps you!!! :)

Dove - posted on 05/13/2016

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Dang on that other post... 3 trolls w/ matching comments one right after the other. Oh... it's going to be a funny summer around here.

Dove - posted on 05/13/2016

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lol at 'I don't have time to sit my kid down and tell her about sex'... the 'kid' is 16. Those talks could have started a decade ago and built up as she aged... shouldn't need more than 10-15 minutes at a time and if you can't spend 10-15 minutes every few months talking to your kid about real life issues... you have no business having a kid.

Can't believe I didn't bother to check this post before right now...

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/13/2016

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Well, it is time for kids to start running amok for summer...UGH

Oh, and to this "new" poster: Jessi: Chick, before you call the REST of us out, and specifically name one person, YOU NEED TO READ and comprehend better, because this OP certainly DID say she didn't have the time to have the sex talk.

Good grief! Get a grip!

Sarah - posted on 05/13/2016

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Interesting post you made in another thread Michelle Cressey:
"Sarah E. discipline is key. No one disciplines a kid like me."
From :http://www.circleofmoms.com/welcome-circ...
Here you complain the you are just too busy to even teach your kids let alone discipline them. I see school must have let out for the trolls.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/13/2016

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Wait...You just said you don't have time to sit your daughter down and talk about sex???

Then you are seriously dropping that ball, lady! Good grief!

Ava Bell: Stop being a troll.

Ava - posted on 05/13/2016

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I think that she should be able to make her own decisions. I agree with you michelle. Everything will be fine. There is no need to worry about what will happn. Sex is part of life. Sarahs just grumpy cause she doesn't get none.

Michelle - posted on 05/12/2016

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I agree that sex and choosing the right partner should have been discussed for a long time. You can't turn back time though but you can make a change now.
Take her to the doctor to make sure she doesn't have an STI of is pregnant and then you do need to discuss the repercussions of having sex at a young age and the use of condoms to prevent diseases and pregnancy.
Just because you are a single working Mother isn't an excuse not to have these conversations with your child.

Michelle - posted on 05/12/2016

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Im a hard working mother, single, and I don't have time to sit my daughter down and say sex with a random man is not acceptable. It has never happened and it caught me off gaurd. Sorry I did not establish these rules "long ago". Instead of being rude its called being supportive. Ever hear of that?

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