Daughter Does Not Want To Visit Her Father...

Charity - posted on 01/09/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 10 years old. I am her primary caregiver and her father has visitations. She is very adamant that she doesn't want to go to visit him. She has been begging me to talk to my lawyer. The last 1-2 days before she goes there, her personality totally changes. She gets emotional and cries, she really does not want to go. :( Any advice?

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Dove - posted on 01/09/2013

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Did you talk to your lawyer about it? There may be nothing you can do, but I would definitely ask your lawyer for advice. Does she say WHY she doesn't want to go? Perhaps you can get her into counseling w/ someone who is willing to testify in court on her behalf? Or maybe she can tell her father that she doesn't want to go and see what he says....

Other than that... unless she has a valid reason (like abuse) that she doesn't want to go.. as long as there is a court order for visitation.. she goes. I don't doubt that it sucks and I wouldn't want to send her in that condition either, but you need to get to the bottom of this issue before making any moves as if you violate the court order it could end up with you in trouble and her father getting MORE time.

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Jasmine - posted on 05/02/2013

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If your daughter doesn't want to go and is begging you not to then most likely, if he has had an abusive past, he is hurting her with words or actions, once a person (guy or girl) does abusive things it is almost impossible for them to stop..... ESPECIALLY if she is begging you for her not to go

Charity - posted on 01/09/2013

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That's the issue. Her father and I didn't work out because he can be abusive. Her issues with going there involve him yelling at her and being angry. I have contacted our local mental health to get her a therapist. I am also waiting for a call back from my lawyer to see what she thinks. The stupid thing is the whole "joint custody" thing. A lot of times you have to have his written consent before anyone can talk to her. Then he would be drilling her as to why she needs to talk to someone. SHe is afraid he will get upset. Along with his abusive tendencies, he loves to lay guilt trips on her and make her feel bad for not wanting to be around him. :(

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