Daughter is trying everythin in her power to have me kick her out I need advice!!!!

Nancy - posted on 09/25/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )




My soon to be 16 year old ( in 25 days) is trying everything to get me to kick her out as she wants to go live with a friend ( that I completely dislike) because she lives with a family friend that allows her to do as she want when she wants. My daughter just received a 3 day out of school suspension for sneaking out of the school during a lock down because her "friend " wanted to go for a smoke. Now I work full time and cant see what she is doing during the day but was just informed today by a friend that my daughter was at the mall, I have no way to communicate with my child as she has blocked me from facebook and off her phone from texting or calling her ( in short she has completely blocked me out of her life) she is skipping school before this incident to hang out with so called "friend" and this is all due to the fact she wants out of my house ..... Now what I would like to know is what can I do she has every right to move at the age of 16 but according to our province I am responsible for her till she turns legal age, and that is 18 I cant ground her she just takes off the police wont do nothing as it is her right to leave if she chooses, but there is a county wide curfew here and if a minor is caught out past that curfew the parent gets the fine so I have no right to keep her at home but I have to pay if she makes mistakes HELP what can I do


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Angela - posted on 09/26/2014




First of all, what country do you live in? It's difficult for women on a global forum to advise you when we don't know where you're from!

Secondly, Dove is right! Stop providing all her peripheral "wants" (they're not "needs", they're "wants").

You should feed, clothe and shelter your child. Providing them with any of the following when they're not living by your house rules isn't mandatory:

* Internet access
* A cell phone contract - let her get a pre-paid phone!
* Laundry & ironing - she can do this for herself!
* Possibly even cooking - provide the food but let HER be the one to prepare & cook it.
* Definitely no money!
* Using the family car, YOUR car, or any car for which she's not paying herself.

Would it help to approach this "friend" of her friend - the one your daughter would like to live with? These set-ups are very welcoming to young people who are bringing a few advantages and privileges along with them when they move in! Make it clear she'll have no money, no motor vehicle and no significant possessions - see how welcome she is then!

Good luck!

User - posted on 09/25/2014




Thanks for that. I did look into Emancipation but she will have to prove she is in an abusive home or that I am using her name incurring debt and a few other things it's kinda stupid as for rides and phone. I have cut that all out. She has her friends pick her up all the time

Dove - posted on 09/25/2014




Do you pay for anything for her other than food? If so ... stop.

Do you provide anything for her (washing her dishes or clothes, giving her a ride anywhere... ever)? If so... stop.

If she wants to do life w/out you... let her.

The laws in your area seem pretty screwed up if you can't hold her accountable for anything and YOU get in trouble if she messes up.... Can you talk to a lawyer? Perhaps emancipation is an option?

I don't actually WANT to be giving this advice, but if she can do what she wants and you are the one that is legally held responsible when the law won't help you keep her where she needs to be... I really don't know what else you can do.

Hopefully someone else will have a better idea.

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