daughter refuses corrections

Angela - posted on 11/19/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My 15 year old daughter is an excellent student at school. At home, she treats everyone below her. She is a foot taller than me and refuses to listen what I have to tell her. I feel that it is like a battle of wills when I ask her to do something. I am on my wits ends and I really don't know what to do. I feel like, giving her up to social service I cannot handle her anymore. What do I do?

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Jodi - posted on 11/19/2015

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If she gives in but is still disrespectful, then she hasn't given in. Why aren't you removing the electronics again? You can't implement a consequence once and expect it to change her. You need to be consistent - which means doing it each and EVERY time.

Raye - posted on 11/19/2015

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You need to have consequences for her actions. All your child is entitled to is a roof over her head, clothes, food, and school. Anything else can be taken away from her until she learns respect. You need to be the parent and enforce the rules with consequences. The consequences need to be given consistently, every time she does something wrong. It may take a while for it to start working, and she will probably fight back. Because you have been letting things go she will feel that she can bully you into giving in. Don't let her. Make a decision. Don't argue with her.

If she refuses to listen to you, have her go to her room until she can listen and do as she's told. Remove any electronics she has in her room. Every time she comes out of her room, calmly ask her if she's ready to do as you've asked. If not, then she doesn't get to do anything else except go to the bathroom, eat, and go to school. No phone, no TV, she must sit in her room. If she plops down on the couch and starts watching TV, unplug the TV and stand in front of her and calmly ask if she's ready to do as she's told. If not, send her back to her room. If she leaves the house, call the cops on her. It's going to take time and effort, and the rest of the family will probably have to suffer a bit before you get through to her, but you need to teach her respect and to listen to her mother.

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Angela - posted on 11/19/2015

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Thank you for answering me. I appreciate it. As you said, take away electronics and I did. She eventually gave in and of course-still very disrespectful. I guess, it will take time...I am glad I found this website. It is helping me cope with motherhood.

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