Daughter's Father.

Emily - posted on 01/05/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I'm currently having trouble with my ex partner. We've not been together since we found out I was expecting with my daughter. Since having my daughter I've got into a new relationship with my current boyfriend. My ex is causing me problems, saying he's taking me to court to get access over her-He's not on the birth certificate due to him not being there when I registered her as he "couldn't be bothered", sending me abusive texts, saying he's going to kip-nap my daughter, saying he loves my daughter yet he's never met her, saying what I'm doing is wrong, saying that he doesn't want someone else bringing up my daughter yet he's never been bothered?! We think that this is all happening now he's got a new girlfriend and she's pushing him for access so she can do the "Mummy role"! Any advice on what I can/could do would be much appreciated!! Thank you! :)

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Dove - posted on 01/05/2016

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He has every right to a relationship w/ his child... and, more importantly, your daughter has every right to see her father.

Get a lawyer, have a DNA test court ordered, and file for custody, visitation, and child support.... and expect that your daughter's father WILL get visitations at least if not joint custody.

Jodi - posted on 01/05/2016

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"My ex is causing me problems, saying he's taking me to court to get access over her"

Sensible man. He wants something in writing so he can have a relationship with his daughter without your interference. He has that right. Telling you he wants access and is taking your to court over it is not causing you problems. It's what should have happened in the first place.

"He's not on the birth certificate due to him not being there when I registered her as he "couldn't be bothered", "

That doesn't mean he is not her father. You don't get to deny him access on the basis of the birth certificate. Another reason for him to take you to court - for the DNA test so he can be added to the birth certificate.

"sending me abusive texts, saying he's going to kip-nap my daughter, saying he loves my daughter yet he's never met her, saying what I'm doing is wrong, saying that he doesn't want someone else bringing up my daughter yet he's never been bothered"

It seems pretty clear to me that he has asked you if he can visit his daughter and you have denied him.....so yes, what you are doing is wrong.

Advice for you? Go and see a lawyer so you can establish custody and visitation orders. You should also be filing for child support. But just be aware, the father WILL get some level of visitation and may get joint custody. That's his right - he has the same right as you do. You don't get to make a baby with someone and then unilaterally cut them out of your life. That's not the way it works. This man will be a coparent for 18 years. Get used to it. Your boyfriend is NOT the daddy. He may take on a role in your child's life, but he is still JUST a boyfriend. But you don't get to play happy families with your boyfriend and cut the father off.

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