daughter's friend doesn't always tell the truth

Gordana - posted on 07/20/2011 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I realize that kids don't always get along with each other. But, I'm getting a little frustrated when my daughter's friend (they are both 5) says to her mother that my daughter said something bad. Now, I know that my daughter could very well be guilty of this, but sometimes she's not. And, this mother ALWAYS believes her daughter. Do I say something, or just let it go? This mother is also my dog sitter, so in a a way I don't want to "rock" the boat.

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Bernadette - posted on 08/08/2011

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Stick up for your daughter! If you hear what happens, and know for a fact that she didn't say what the other child said she did, then you need to let her know that you are going to be on her side. You don't have to rock the boat, just step in when the other kid accuses her and say "well no, she didn't do that actually. Maybe you misunderstood what she meant." Your child needs to know that you are going to be on her side and defend her when she is in the right. By the same token, when she is in the wrong you need to acknowledge this and make sure the other child and her mother know that you realise and are going to take whatever necessary disciplinary action. They need to know that you don't have the attitude that "my child does nothing wrong" - defend her when the situation calls for it, but acknowledge and reprimand when necessary too. That keeps it fair, and your daughter, the other child and her mother all know where they stand.

Jess - posted on 07/20/2011

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Even at 5 years old it is always good to help your child to deal with their own issues with other children. When Mum steps in it can cause a small thing to be big. I suggest that you find out what your child was guilty of first and help her to be honest with you and to apologise if necessary. If she isn't guilty help her to forgive the other child and to move on. Kids can be hurtful to each other but they are just kids and need us to help them learn what to do in these situations. Hope that helps.

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Gordana - posted on 08/08/2011

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Thanks for your input! I think you're right...my child does need to know that I will be on her side.

Gordana - posted on 07/23/2011

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Us moms are usually together when this happens. The other mom acts like she believes her daughter..she tells her not to tattle tale and go play. But, the oth wr day, I heard what my daughter said and it wasn't anything bad. And, yet I didn't say anything. We became close friends with our daughter's friendahip, and I don't want to lose a friend. But, sometimea I feel like I need a break.

Angelique - posted on 07/23/2011

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Does the mother confront you on these things? Or is the mother getting on to your daughter when you're not around? If the mom is a good friend of yours then I would talk to her about it. If this is is just a playmate of your daughters and you don't know the mom well, I would equip your daughter with the tools to be able to defend herself in this situation. If I were in this situation and another mom were continually accusing my daughter of saying things she didn't know for a fact were said I wouldn't allow my daughter to play there without me present. As Ive learned friendships between kids can come and go. Unless this is a family you spend a lot of time with you can allow the friendship to phase out easily. Not all friendships are worth keeping...especially where your children are concerned. They need to be with friends who are encouraging and get along well :) It's way easier to place children in your kids loves now than when they get older. Good luck!!

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 07/22/2011

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What exactly was said that she said? And how bad was it? Because I do have trouble from time to time with one of my daughter's friends (he's 6 like she is). I suggest doing what the other mom suggested which was talk to your daughter first.
And worse case scenerio, you'll need a new dog sitter.

Sherri - posted on 07/20/2011

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I would sit down with your daughter and find out if she said these things or not. You just said she could be guilty of it. However, if she isn't confront the other mother and tell her point blank that you had a talk with your daughter and she didn't say or do said thing. End of problem..

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