Daughter trying to control father

Jennifer - posted on 03/11/2013 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My 16 yr old daughter is currently trying to control her dad. We had many arguments and she figured out that if she can have him by her side she would beat.

What should I do?

Edit: I am getting professional help... I thank everyone for advices. Situation is in control.

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Dove - posted on 03/12/2013

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Both of them are behaving inappropriately and it is highly suspicious. I would be highly concerned about even more inappropriate behaviors going on that you DON'T see and would be dragging her butt down to counseling immediately.... and telling him to go to counseling or get out.

Kristi - posted on 03/12/2013

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I cannot describe how inappropriate and wrong that is.

I mean, WOW! She needs therapy, like yesterday! Quite frankly, so does your husband. Seriously, Jennifer, what age were you when your father stopped seeing you naked or even in your bra and panties? I was about 5.

If my husband, for one second, thought it was ok for himself to see his 16 y/o daughter prancing around in her thong and lying on him naked while she's trying to get him to kick me out of the house...wrong answer, I would not trust his ass for one second. And you said you can tell he enjoys it...can you say incest, sexual predator also comes to mind.

I have to say, if this were me, I would quickly and quietly check into what kind of legal ramifications, if any, there could be should this come to light. My first thought is to throw him out and slap a protection order on him so she can't go with him to prevent any further whatever it is you want to call their behavior. I'm afraid, though, you might be cutting off your nose to spite your face because it sounds like she is the type that would make false accusations against you just to "get you back" and to get her daddy back.

If I were a bettin woman, I would put a large sum of money down on the odds that your daughter has already been sexually abused in some manner by someone. If not that, someone taught her real well how to use sex as a weapon (which imo is still abuse) and she obviously figured out it would work on your husband.

I'm sorry for sounding harsh. I'm not being dramatic, I am being completely frank. Try to look at this from the outside. What if the roles were reversed and a friend of yours told you this. Call the YWCA, they have an anonymous hot line. Tell them about this and see what they recommend.

Does she behave this way at school with students and/or staff? Does she have a job? Is her volleyball coach a man or a woman? How do they get along? Any special treatment, extra practice time, phone calls, etc?

You are in a rough situation. My heart goes out to you. But, you can't sit on this any longer. You've got to see the truth for what it is. For right now, you just have to accept it. It is what it is. Then you go about changing the things you can. You are obviously going to have to make some really hard decisions, try to use wisdom and logic as opposed to raw emotions. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Dove - posted on 03/13/2013

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You do realize that editing your op in that fashion makes you suspicious as well.... The people who responded already know what was said. There is no way the situation has gotten under control in 2 days. I'm going to assume you aren't a troll because if you WERE... the op most likely wouldn't have been altered. I hope and pray you all really are getting the professional help that is desperately needed here.

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Kristi - posted on 03/13/2013

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I am glad you're getting professional help, Jennifer. However, I am most certain your situation is not in control this quickly.

Your OP was very disturbing but at the core of the matter is that, at some point, I firmly believe your daughter was a victim of sexual abuse. I sincerely hope she gets the help she obviously needs.

As for daddy, I'd check the national sex offender registry just to be on the safe side.

Firebird - posted on 03/12/2013

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I see the OP has altered her original post so it no longer says anything about the 16 year old wearing thongs and parading around naked in front of her dad who likes to watch. I really hope this is just a troll post but I'm doubting it. This is just sooo disturbing.

Michelle - posted on 03/12/2013

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Well you should see the PM's she's sending me. That's why I'm not going to comment anymore.

Kristi - posted on 03/12/2013

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Firebird--

That was my first reaction, too! I had a few other colorful words to go with...

My overwhelming urge to slap some sense into her beat out my gag reflex so I was able to comment.

Michelle - posted on 03/11/2013

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I would be telling her father that when she is in ANY state of undress around him he should leave the room and tell her it's NOT appropriate at all for her to be wandering around like that.

He needs to grow a spine stand up to her. He needs to be the father, not her friend. The main problem is him not her!!!!

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