daughters and their so called friends.

Richele - posted on 04/06/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )




My 9 year old daughter has a girl in her class, that since last year she has been playing with her emotions. This girl(i will call her kate) and my daughter were friends at the beginning of the school year last year and when my daughter started to try and meet new people as well Kate told her, if you want to play with other people then you are not my friend anymore you have to play with only me. So pretty much all last year they were not friends; this year came along and they started hanging out again. There is a group of four girls who hang out together Kate, my daughter and two other girls. Kate will say things to my daughter one day to make her feel bad about herself, then the next thing you know she will turn around and be her best friend. My daughter is at the age where her body is starting to change as well as emotions. She is very hurt by this girl actions.

Tell me What is a mother to do?

I have talked with her and told her that if Kate treats her this way she is not a friend to her, I have thought about trying to have a talk with this girl her mom and possibly the principal with my daughter there too, to try and figure out what we can do , what do you all think?


Kristy - posted on 10/15/2011




It is hard - I have 3 girls and what I have learned is that you cannot control what other's do or say, you can only control your own reactions. I tell my girls to hang out with friends that make you feel happy not sad, ones that are kind and fun, not all about the drama. In the end, she may decide to stick it out with Kate, but hopefully you can teach her how to be strong and command respect. Good Luck!


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Jenna - posted on 04/06/2010




Girls can be the most horrible creatures, I would say that this is only the beginning! I'm not sure at this point it would be a time to bring it up with anyone, just let your daughter know that she doesn't need to be friends with this girl and that she is not a bad person if she decides not to be friends with Kate. Lots of people don't get along with certain others and that is fine. It's nice to have everyone like you but it is not a necesity.

If Kate is truely being an emotional bully, sending your daughter into tears, not wanting to go to school, etc....then I would bring it up to the school that you would like to have a mediated meeting with the girls and the parents. Bullying is unacceptable whether it be physical or emotional.

Just let your daughter know that her feelings are important and that if she chooses not to be friends with this girl thats O.K, but also it is good to let her work this out on her own, even if she has to learn a hard lesson. If it gets out of control, that's when someone needs to step in.

This is a hard one!

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