Daycare vs being home

Allie - posted on 11/22/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I am divorced and my 4 year old is in daycare. My ex husband and I have joint custody and he is complaining I should put her in daycare everyday instead of keeping her home to spend time with me.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/23/2016

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Thanks for the clarification, Jodi! Little sleep in my world this week...

Ok, so I agree with the others. If you are NOT working, and you are divorced, you need to pony up. Go to work. You need to support yourself. It's not his job to support you any more, you are divorced.

Ev - posted on 11/23/2016

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There is nothing with a 4 year old in preschool or daycare. It is going to give her a chance to see what school could be like, let her learn social skills with her peers, learn a routine for the day, and also learn to deal with be separated from you. Your ex is right to a point as I can see it. I can see your point too. But the questions the other moms asked are point on. And with joint custody, you have to work together on things.

Dove - posted on 11/23/2016

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4 is a good age for her to be in preschool... which would (should) be Monday through Friday anyway. Is daycare after preschool or instead of preschool (w/ a preschool program in it... I've heard of that). Why does he want her in daycare every day? Is it because you want her home instead of going to work? Do you just want her home w/ you on your days off and he is worried about disrupting her routine? Since the two of you have joint custody you are going to have to figure out a way to work together for all of that.... for the next 14 years. Have you sat down together to discuss it all and weigh the pros and cons for everyone involved?

Jodi - posted on 11/22/2016

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Shawnn, it is the ex that wants the child in daycare.

My guess is that he is supporting you financially to stay home? Maybe he doesn't feel he should have to support you not working? If you had a job, his child support might be less, and it is fair that he expects you to work.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/22/2016

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Ok, I guess I'm missing something. If you are divorced, you need to work, to support yourself, and contribute to the support for your child. I don't know many jobs that let you bring your kids, so therefore there needs to be a care plan in place.

If your ex wants you to stay home with the kids, is he going to fully support you as if you were still married?

Michelle - posted on 11/22/2016

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There are pro's and con's for both.
If you can afford to stay at home then that's up to you.
I personally don't have a problem with daycare but then I had to go to work to keep a roof over our heads.

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