Mechelle - posted on 01/06/2015 ( 14 moms have responded )
I have a 10 year old daughter and I recently dropped the bomb on her that my husband, the man she calls dad, is not biologically hers. She was very hurt and the first comment she made was to my husband and she said, "I don't want you to be my step dad!!" He has been in her life since she was 2 years old...so she knows no different. Well recently her biological father took me to court for visitations with her. We went to mediation and we both agreed that we would have three visit starting off. The first visit would be with his the biological father, the second visit she would meet her step mother and the third visit she would meet her siblings. However, bio father didn't want my husband at the first and third meeting....he just wanted me there...idk why...but they were his wishes. When we talked to my daughter and asked her what we could do to make this transition better for her she said that she wanted me and my husband there when she meets him and she didn't want to be left alone with him. I agreed. I let him know what she said when he contacted me that day that we were supposed to meet. He got upset and said we needed to stick with it being just me, him and our daughter. I didn't mind BUT I told him if that was something he wanted than he would have to tell our daughter that....I wasn't going to do that to her. My husband has been her protector, provider and DAD for 8 years. Anyway...he contacted the mediator and told her what was going on. The mediator told him that it wasn't about him but it was about the child and if that was going to make her comfortable throughout the process than he should understand. She stated she contact the bio father SEVERAL times throughout that day begging him to still meet his daughter and he told her no. SHE called me about 30 min before the meeting and said that she didn't think he was going to show up but she advised me to still go just in case. He NEVER contacted me to say he wasn't coming. Needless to say, my daughter was looking forward to meeting him....and he stood her up!!! Now I'm having to pick up the pieces. My daughter has lived a very peaceful and happy life and I hate she has to be dragged through this foolishness. The mediator said the next step is the court date. Should I hire a lawyer? The bio father and I already have a visitation order that was put in place when my daughter was 2 that he never went through with. Do you think the judge would just go back and make him fulfill that order? And what should I do with my daughter in the meantime? She is very upset and hurt that she didn't show ALL because she wanted her dad there.