"Deadbeat Dad" Issues.

Mercy - posted on 08/12/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Okay so, I'm a young single mom of a 10 month old baby girl but my ex isn't involved at all. He hasn't told any one at all that he even had a baby..not even his mother. Now, my daughter's 1st birthday is approaching (sept 25) and I am feeling so crappy and upset that his mom has no clue she has her first grand daughter. I mean, I'm not 100% on how she feels but how could I if she doesn't know? I feel it's right to give the woman her right to at least know about her. If from then she doesn't proceed to be on her life then it will be okay. But I hate not knowing! I'd be heartbroken if I was in this position, missing all the first in her life. I don't care about her dad as he obviously is too wrapped up in his partying and crap. I guess my main question is have any of you moms been in this sort of situation? Or have any "advice" maybe? Feedback would be much appreciated! Thanks :)

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Jenn - posted on 08/13/2013

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Yes I think you should let her know and leave it up to her to make the choice, be prepared that she may not want to believe she is his child etc, best wishes!

April - posted on 08/12/2013

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I know exactly how you feel. My oldest was hidden from his parents the whole pregnancy and for 2 more months after she was born. He didnt want to tell his parents, why I wasnt sure. He waited til christmas and presented their granddaughter as his gift. I wasnt happy about that but glad he went ahead and told before I did. His parents were upset that they had already missed that much of her life. The father and I are no longer together even though we did have another child together. His parents are still very active in both of our girls lives and I wouldn't change that for anything. Go ahead and tell her. You may be pleasantly surprised. Even if she doesnt want to be involved at least you can hold your head high knowing you were strong enough to do the right thing. I hope everything works out for you. Best of luck

Natasha - posted on 08/12/2013

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My sons grandad and his wife never got told about my son , I thought the whole family knew but they never told him! My son was 16 months when he found out and rang me straight away he was so upset he didn't know before hand, and I regretted not checking that for myself :( my son is now 12 and his grandad has been wonderful especially wonderful when I was single and needed extra support . She is your baby's grandmother and when she grows up how great for you to be able to tell her you always did what was best for her, weather it worked out good or not ? Tell her she maybe your Rock :) and speaking from experience it is so great to watch grandparents with there grandchildren it is truly a special relationship so don't take that opportunity away from your daughter or your x mum tell her now :) hope it all works out for you :)

Jodi - posted on 08/12/2013

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I haven't been in your situation, but I'd personally let his mum know. I agree that she has the right to know.

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