deadbeat dad, want to take him for custody and support but he wont sign over rights! lost and confused, what do i do?

Karyn - posted on 01/12/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I need advice, I have two children by the same man, when I found out I was pregnant with my first born I was already 3 months along, I had no signs or symptoms of knowing I was pregnant, my tell was i was starving, well when i told the father of my child he automatically forced abortion on me, and when i fought him on abortion he said adoption he wanted nothing to do with the baby, well during the pregnancy he came around and wanted to be involved in my sons life, but then turned around and said he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby, when my son was born, he signed the birth certificate, but has not paid child support and its now going on 3 yrs, we had a file with FRO but was told by our FSW ( Family Support Worker ) to cancel our file since he had no money to pay for his son, that was the BIGGEST mistake to cancel our file, we can get it back its gonna cost us 50 bucks each and I know he will NOT pay 50 bucks to get it up and running again, cause he does not want to pay child support. In Sept of 2011 I recieved no income for a month due to an issue with the gov ( that got fixed ) and when I had asked him to help me out so our son could have food and diapers he told me NO, his sister offered to help not with much but with some and he told her no dont worry about it..I later got pregnant with my second, when I had told him about the pregnancy he again pushed abortion when i refused aborting, he said well adoption is the only answer i dont want this baby, i dont even want to be known as this childs father, im not signing the birth certificate etc.. Now that he has a gf and my baby boy is almost one, he's trying to get into his life and I dont want him apart of either of my boys life, I have a bf i have been seeing for 9 months now he came into my youngest sons life when he was 3 1/2 months old and has been more of a father figure to him, my youngest lookls at his real dad as a stranger and does cry, and he gets mad cause the baby is crying...As well as he barely ever sees his oldest son,he can go months without seeing him then all of a sudden want to be there and that lasts for a month or so...im tired of it and want to go for full custody, but he has told me he will NOT sign over his rights to the oldest one and a judge cant make him!! Do I have enough evidence to have a judge tell him to rign over his rights? I think its best if hes not in my boys life period, he doesnt want to step up to the plate, he refuses to do anything, and now that he has a gf he wants to be apart of there life just so he can show her what a great dad he is ( which he isnt ), what should i do? im lost and confused! Any suggestions would be great thanks!

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Sarah - posted on 01/12/2013

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When you go to court over your kids and tell them what the father of those kids has said to you. And if you have witnesses that will validate what was said from him. And he has to, [ I think] Be able to show that he CAN take care of that little boy. But you HAVE to tell the court what that jerk has said and have witnesses and maybe record what he says.

Karyn - posted on 01/12/2013

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As well I'm sorry to hear about what ur sister did, kids r a blessing, I love my boys dearly, I could never imagine giving up on them... Though I feel as if I have with not pursuing this earlier!

Karyn - posted on 01/12/2013

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Thank you Sarah! I agree, he's pretty much been in an out of my oldest sons life he cried for the longest time when he was younger cause he didn't know him and he would get mad at him and tell him to shut up.. It's so unfair to the boys that they have to go through this specially my youngest who's father wants nothing to do with him, yet he will do things for his gfs kids, it makes me so mad!! I want full custody of both boys, but he won't sign over his rights to the oldest to the youngest he has np on doing so! My bf wants to adopt my youngest, my youngest looks to him like his dad since he's been there and does stuff... I never thought I'd be someone who went through this!

Sarah - posted on 01/12/2013

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Push for child support because since he says he wants nothing to do with the child. He still made one and he has to be responsible for that life in some way. It's your choice to push the case. Also, if he doesn't pay he will go to jail for not paying. And you can have the child support to were he can pay but you don't have to let him see your babies. Let me tell you a story of my 25 year old sister. She has two boys. One is now 6 years old and the other is 5 years old. She gave them up to go after men and parties. My parents have had custody of her oldest since he was 2. The other child went to his father's grandparent's home. She pops in and out of their lives. The littlest was only barely 1 years old when she left and he doesn't know who she is. For my parents to let her in and out of my oldest nephew's life is pure torture. He cries because she promises to stay then leaves not 2 months later. I would NOT suggest letting that "man" be around those boys that is mental torture. Plus why let him be around them? He wanted to KILL the unborn child. Sickening. That's my advice to you.

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