Dealing with a 13 year old boy

Marvic - posted on 05/24/2016 ( 8 moms have responded )

5

0

1

Hello, I wonder if someone can give me some advice. I have 2 children from a previous marriage. A13 year old boy and a10 year old girl. I also have a 3 year old daughter with my current boyfriend. My son has always been protective of me as a boy would be. But it is now getting too much and too frustrating and causing stress with my boyfriend and myself. My son has gone through the stages of lying and being disrespectful to myself and my boyfriend. Argues with his sister and fights with her. But not the little one.
He is a good boy and good hearted but I have pushed him on to my boyfriend and my boyfriend onto him to try and make peace with each other. But that's not worked. He spend a month with his father last year and things were better when he returned home. It killed me not seeing him everyday and made that clear to both of them in hope that thy nth realize how much I want this to work for us all.
My son does not seem to like my boyfriend and the feeling is mutual with my boyfriend. It has now come to a point were my son is told he cannot live with us anymore. He needs to go live with his dad.
They both have a wall up and I don't know how to break it.
I need help and advice. I do not want my son to move with his dad. I want my children with me.
Please help me

8 Comments

View replies by

Marvic - posted on 05/31/2016

5

0

1

Thank you for your post. I appreciate your help and your suggestions. I will be looking at all that you've suggested.
Thank you for not judgeing me as a horrible mother. I want what is best for everyone. And I think you read that in my post. Thank you

Spartygirl95 - posted on 05/31/2016

7

0

0

Your son is 13 and parenting thru the teen years can be a challenge even in the most stable family environments. Here is a series of articles that offers tips on parenting teens. My son is 14 and I've found some valuable tips here, http://bit.ly/20Rk7hk

Blending families can be so difficult, I'm so sorry your struggling. Its never an easy decision to have your child live somewhere other than with you. Have you considered counseling? Sometimes a 3rd party can really help everyone be heard and reach an understanding. If you would like to call 885-382-5433, Focus on the Family can provide a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor. I hope with all my heart you, your son and bf can come to a loving conclusion.

Sarah - posted on 05/24/2016

8,728

0

21

I agree that a relationship of mutual respect is reasonable. That goes both ways. Even if your BF doesn't feel affection for your son, he has got to man up and learn to appreciate some things about your child.

Ev - posted on 05/24/2016

7,232

7

909

You should also be talking to your BF too on this not just the boy. He is the adult and should be going over the issues with you to work them out and even with your son if possible. If you send your son to his father because the BF does not get along well with him, what kind of message does that send to him? What about visitation and all that too?
There is more to think of than just making your boyfriend happy.

Marvic - posted on 05/24/2016

5

0

1

We discussed rules and chores what the kids should and not do. I will sit down with my son again and have another heart to heart with him and continue to work with my bf about my sons living arrangements.
Thank you for your time to respond and advice. Much appreciate it

Ev - posted on 05/24/2016

7,232

7

909

Did you and BF have a talk about how things were going to work before moving into a home together? You do realize that kids do not and can not be forced to like people they do not like but should be respectful. I think you need to sit your son down and tell him that though he does not like your BF he should at least be polite about things and if not that there will be consequences for it. Your boyfriend can not dictate that your child needs to live elsewhere.

Marvic - posted on 05/24/2016

5

0

1

I have been with my bf for 6 years now. We've been living together for 3 years. What I mean by pushing them together is by doing things together. My children will always come first that's why I'm asking for help because I don't want my son to go. How do I make this work for all of us? I understand that we won't all hold hands and sing kumbaya or anything like that. But I want peace and harmony at home with all my children and my bf.

Ev - posted on 05/24/2016

7,232

7

909

How long has your kids been around your boyfriend? And why "push" them on each other? It seems to me that your son may not like your BF at all and he should not be made to move out because of that. Your children should come first.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms